Educated, by Tara Westover

In this moving memoir, Dr Westover discusses her difficulties separating herself from her abusive family. It is well-written and engaging. Definitely worth a read. However, I did wonder several times how much her memory of precise events was colored by cognitive distortions due to years of gaslighting, physical, and emotional abuse. For instance, (spoiler) they drove to Arizona only twice, and had a near-fatal car accident both times? She came to visit her family with intent of working out their differences only to have a nasty email about her up on the computer screen when she walked in? (end spoiler) There were too many of these coincidences to be fully realistic.

Another worry I had was that the book would exacerbate our culture’s prejudice of the Church of Latter Day Saints. People are just looking for another reason to hate Mormons. However, I don’t know how she would have written the story without mentioning LDS, and she did include a comment in the afterward saying that she did not wish her book to be a support nor a criticism of the Mormon church.

But, as my friend pointed out while discussing the book, these issues did not change the message of self-discovery and not letting your past define you.

Spoilers abound below.

These questions are adapted from Susan Bauer’s Well-Educated Mind, Chapter 6.

✏️Who was the author?

The author was a white, upper-middle class woman from a financially disadvantaged upbringing. She has a PhD in history.

✏️What are the central events?

It starts with her abusive childhood, moves to her undergraduate college years, and then to her grad school days.

✏️What historical events coincide or merge with personal events?

The major world events mentioned were Ruby Ridge (which happened near Dr Westover’s home), 9/11, and the assassination of Osama bin Laden.

✏️Who is the most important person, or people, in the writer’s life?

Her family were the most important to her, if the focus of this book is telling.

✏️What is the theme that ties the narrative together. Is the story spiritual or skeptical?

The theme is the transformation of a young woman to define herself by herself, and not by her past. I would say the memoir was skeptical based on the definition given by Bauer. This is not a book of spiritual importance, though I believe her Mormon heritage was important to who she became in the end. I don’t know that she’s still Mormon, but her graduate work depended heavily on her Mormon background.

🖍️If skeptical – What is the theme? Is the story relational (involving relationships with people)?

Yes, the story is mostly about her relationship with her family.

🖍️Is it oppositional (conflict between two different possible choices)?

Oh yes, it’s oppositional between herself, who she thinks she is, and her family.

🖍️Is it heroic, casting the writer in the mold of a mythical hero or heroine, conquering difficulties and overcoming obstacles?

I wouldn’t say so, no. She was fairly self deprecating throughout the book.

🖍️Is it historical?

Not really.

✏️Where is the life’s turning point? Is there a conversion?

When a certain particularly horrible thing happens and she looks in the mirror as she always does, and she doesn’t devolve into that person she used to be.

✏️For what does the writer apologize? In apologizing, how does the writer justify?

I guess in some way, she apologized for her ignorance of important events like the Holocaust, and excuses it by pointing out she was “homeschooled.”

She also apologized for cutting off her family, and that was excused by the way she was neglected and abused as a youth.

✏️What is the model – the ideal – for the author’s life?

Defining your own self

✏️What is the end of life (the place where the writer has arrived, found closure, discovered rest)?

Having been educated on how to define her own self

✏️Is the author writing for herself or a group?

She is writing to help other people in the same situation feel inspired to not let their past define them.

✏️What parts of the writer’s experience does she assume to be universal?

She seems to feel that a strong attachment to one’s family despite the situation is pretty common.

✏️Which does she view as unique to herself?

The very specifics of the situation would be unique to herself – going to college at a young age after receiving no education, for instance.

✏️Am I part of the group that would be expected to closely identify with the author’s story?

No, I was not neglected or abused by my parents as a child. Though I was by my sister.

✏️Does it ring true for me?

As stated above, I have some reservations about the details. I feel it’s possible she has some cognitive distortions due to a lifetime of abuse.

✏️What parts of the story resonate and which do not?

I understand how it feels to regret losing one’s family to a rift like this, but I found it easier to separate myself from an emotionally abusive sister.

✏️What are the three moments or timeframes of the story? (When it happened, when it was written, when it was read.)

It happened during the 1990s through 2010’s. (Childhood through young adulthood). The book was published in 2018, not too many years after the end of the story. I read it in 2023, so not too long after it was published.

✏️What was the author’s reason for writing?

I don’t know…probably partly as a cathartic act to release the emotions pent up since childhood and partly to inspire others not to define themselves by their pasts.

✏️Was the writer at a high or low point at the time of writing?

It would seem to have been a high point, though I’d say she’ll hopefully have even higher points.

✏️How has the biography changed in the years since its publication?

Not really. It hasn’t been too long and not much has changed societally since it was published – at least not on the covered topics of abuse, neglect, family relations, and education.

✏️Where does the author’s judgement lie? What, or whom, does the author judge? Is this criticism valid?

I don’t know if Dr Westover considers herself to judge her various family members or not. I’d say from my perspective, she negatively judges the abusive and neglectful behavior of her dad and brother Shawn, as well as her mom’s willful ignorance of what was going on.

Yes, I’d say this criticism is very valid if things were even a fraction as bad as she relates.

✏️Who do I deem responsible for successes and failures of the author?

Well, I guess I should deem her parents and brother Shawn as the main players in her making mistakes as a child and teen. But once she was an adult, she was responsible for her own self.

✏️What have I brought away from this story? What did I hope to get?

It was an interesting story of overcoming a challenging past. I can’t really relate much to her problems, not having grown up in a similar way at all, but it therefore provided a view of what some people have to endure just to survive. And how strength and intelligence can overcome it. But it also indirectly implies that people without these characteristics may not be able to overcome the abuse – or may not want to – as is shown in her sister Audrey.

I don’t know what I hoped to get. I didn’t really know what the book was about when I picked it up…just that it was supposed to be really good.