When Uncle Tom and a little boy George are sold by kind owners to a terrible slave trader, George’s mom takes him and runs, but Uncle Tom goes willingly with the slave trader. The story in turns follows Uncle Tom and the young mother. This was a momentous book at the time it was written, but it certainly did not age well. With the n-word flung liberally around, I was unable to listen to the book on speaker in front of my kids (I don’t like cooking with headphones on). The stereotypes of black people were horrific. However, I tried to listen to it from the perspective that I was not its intended audience, and that helped. Overall, a good effort for the original purpose of the book – to bring light to the horrors of slavery and the blindness of white people. But it should be read knowing it won’t sit well with a modern audience, and with expectation that the denouement is excessively long.
Spoilers abound below.
These questions are adapted from Susan Bauer’s Well-Educated Mind, Chapter 5.
✏️Is this Novel a fable or a chronicle?
Chronicle, as it is set in our universe.
🖍️How does the writer show us reality (if chronicle)?
I’m supposed to say whether it was mainly showing psychologically or physical. This book did not go into vivid detail physically. It mainly alluded to the violence and rape without showing. So it’s hard for me to say it was physical. Psychologically, it showed how the slaves and owners felt, but also not in vivid detail. It was a bit detached in both psychological and physical, but somehow got the point across. Maybe with appealing to the imagination’s ability to read between the lines.
✏️What does the central character want? What is standing in their way? What strategy do they pursue to overcome this block?
Uncle Tom would like his freedom. The law and various slave owners are standing in his way. He puts his faith in God to get his freedom in soul, if not in body.
✏️Who is telling this story?
The book has a semi-omniscient narrator which follows several people’s thoughts, but only one person at a time.
✏️Where is the story set? How does this setting convey the character’s relationship to the world?
It takes place in the Southern states, where slaves are not free. This means Tom’s freedom can be kept from him indefinitely.
✏️Do you sympathize with the characters? Which ones and why?
I don’t sympathize with the white characters at all. Even the nice ones. I just don’t get excusing slavery. As for the black characters, they are too much of caricatures to garner much sympathy, but I do have disgust for their plight.
✏️Does the writer’s technique give you a clue as to her take on the human condition?
Her take is pretty obvious – people are created equal, slavery is cruel, and white people spend a lot of time rationalizing…if they feel guilt at all.
✏️Is the novel self-reflective?
I don’t know. Not unless Stowe was a slave owner.
✏️Did the author’s time affect him?
No kidding, yes. The rampant racism and stereotyping would have seemed kind and well-intentioned at the time.
✏️Is there an argument in this book? Do I agree?
The argument is that slavery is cruel and maybe even evil (in the sense of stemming from temptation and vice). Of course I agree.
Saturday we played a good D&D session. Then Aaron, dad, M11 and I watched the second half of Fellowship of the Ring. Really, they watched it and I slept, but at least I was in the room.
Sunday
Sunday was a cold day. Aaron ran a bunch of errands and dad and I walked in the below zero weather to the library. D14 had her D&D session. Then we watched Star Wars Revenge of the Sith as a family.
Monday
Monday was supremely unproductive. The night before, I was wide awake staring at the ceiling all night. (This is unusual for me.) I took some anxiety meds at 1am, and another dose at 5am. The second dose knocked me out for 3 hours, but when I woke up I was stumbling around from having taken a second dose so late in the night. Because of that, I just never really bothered to get the day going.
Aaron, however, did a great job of being me for the day. He got my car into the shop, got dad to his appointment, and got D14 to her event and picked her up afterwards. IL5 didn’t get swim lessons, though, because they overlapped with picking up D14…but even I can’t be in two places at once, so I let Aaron off the hook for that one.
In the evening everyone went out to dinner without me and IL5. (IL5 was asleep and I can’t sit.)
Tuesday
Tuesday I made some chickpea curry for Aaron and my own lunches next week, then I watched Supernatural with Aaron and dad while cleaning the livingroom. Aaron had the day off from being me because dad threw up and we cancelled his appointment.
Wednesday
Wednesday was pretty uneventful. Dad, Aaron, and I went to Perkins for breakfast, where I sat for the first time since the car ride home from the surgery. It went pretty well. I made some phone calls and relaxed for the rest of the day. Aaron took D14 to her last weekly knee physical therapy…we’re switching to every other week now. Then he went to another evening appointment with her, while I watched the first couple episodes of Merlin with M11.
Thursday
I got a little stir crazy this week, and due to the nature of IL5’s appointments Thursday, I decided that it was a good idea to go with Aaron to the appointments. I still wouldn’t be driving, but I’d be sitting.
The first appointment was his poop psychologist. We’re going to start working on why IL5 doesn’t want to poop in the toilet. Then, we met with his gastroenterologist and made a plan for how to keep IL5’s gut clear of impaction. Then we met with his poop physical therapist to teach him how to poop. It was a poopy morning. The gastroenterologist appointment was virtual, and instead of going home, we had the appointment in a Perkins.
By the time I got home, my butt was aching from all the sitting, so I lay in bed for a while and took notes from all the appointments. By this time, my accountability buddy was like, “What happened yesterday? Why didn’t you accomplish much? What can you do differently today?” So I felt compelled to meet my task goal for the day. (It was 20. I made it to 21, thanks to her.) No, appointments don’t count as tasks – it only counts as a task if it’s on my to-do list. But I do have some easy stuff like “take meds” on there (because I need reminding to do things like that).
In the evening, M11 had his band concert. He did a great job.
Friday
Friday was really disappointing. Last week, M11 gave a remote control dragon to IL5, but he couldn’t find the charging cable. IL5 was so disappointed, that I bought another one. A few days later, it came as a set of imitation LEGO blocks to assemble, so I took the charging cable to charge the assembled one. But the battery wouldn’t charge. Friday, D14 spent 4 hours and much frustration assembling the dragon, and we charged it, but it fell apart when turned on. So I tried removing the charged battery from the one that didn’t stay together, and put it in the one that was assembled. But I couldn’t do that without taking the well-put-together one apart, so I just broke down and purchased a new dragon that didn’t require assembly. Luckily, I had some Prime points to use, because we don’t have money for this.
On top of that, the day went poorly in other ways, too. I think the surgery impacted my mood – the night after surgery I stayed awake all night long, and thought I was going manic. The next night I slept fine, but the following night I started having deep downward mood swings. The following night, my brain felt like it had entirely shut off (it was like I it was moving through molasses). That was Thursday night. Friday, I felt deep non-motivation; to the point where I slept for an extra few hours, then had to force myself to do even fun things like writing a letter or reading a book.
Somehow, at the end of the day, I managed to clean the kitchen and make dinner. Then Aaron and I watched a couple episodes of Supernatural.
Aaron’s day was much more productive. He took IL5 to feeding therapy and took dad to cardiac rehab. Though I don’t think he places value on a day based on how productive it was, as I do.
Super Rabbit Boy vs Super Rabbit Boss, by Thomas Flintham
Super Rabbit Boy’s Time-Jump, by Thomas Flintham
Desmond Cole Ghost Patrol: The Haunted House Next Door, by Andres Miedoso
D13 reading
Exile, by Shannon Messenger (I’m reading this to her.)
Crown of Midnight, by Sarah J Mass
Aaron reading
The Burning God, by R F Kuang
Media Completed
Anakin struggles with fear of loss while the dark side tempts him with what he views as a solution. It was OK. I’m much more a fan of episodes 4-6. But it was good to see the prequels.
When Andres moved into his new normal-boring house (that’s the way he likes it), he meets a cooky neighbor boy. But he ends up needing his new friend’s help when a ghost appears. Pictures on almost any page, easy words. Fun and cute. Good for reading to my 5 year old and for a first or second grader to read alone.
Pauline Dakin grew up a hectic and bizarre life suddenly moving from town to town and watching her mom live in constant fear of she-didn’t-know-what. As an adult, she was told that her estranged father was a mobster who had a hit out on her family’s heads. This is the story of how Ms Dakin dealt with this knowledge. This book was fascinating and bizarre. I really enjoyed it.
Spoilers abound below.
These questions are adapted from Susan Bauer’s Well-Educated Mind, Chapter 6.
✏️Who was the author? (Woman or man or other? Race and ethnicity? Important occupation?)
The author was a white, woman journalist.
✏️What are the central events?
There are three timelines in the book: one when Pauline is a child dealing with her mother’s bizarre antics and having no idea what’s going on; one when Pauline is a young adult, dealing with her mom’s antics when she knows what’s going on; and one as the writer reflecting.
✏️What historical events coincide or merge with personal events?
Pauline was born in 1965, so dealt with a good deal of Cold War era, but I don’t think that much impacted the story she had to tell. I don’t know if organized crime was a particularly huge problem in Canada at that time.
✏️Who is the most important person, or people, in the writer’s life?
Her mother is the most influential person in her life, and she’s very close to her.
✏️What is the theme that ties the narrative together. Is the story spiritual or skeptical?
I’m not sure I agree with Bauer’s claim that memoirs are either spiritual or skeptical. However, there is no religious theme to this memoir.
🖍️Skeptical – What is the theme?
The theme is how mental illness can impact more than just the person with the mental illness.
🖍️Is the story relational (involving relationships with people)?
Yes, it’s mainly about Pauline’s relationship with her mom and Stan.
🖍️Is it oppositional (conflict between two different possible choices)?
There is internal opposition for Pauline between believing her mom and believing her logic.
🖍️Is it heroic, casting the writer in the mold of a mythical hero or heroine, conquering difficulties and overcoming obstacles?
No, she actually seemed rather helpless through a good part of it.
🖍️Is it representational (transforming the writer into a symbol for others who share the same condition)?
No, not many share that condition.
🖍️Is it historical?
It does not cover any mainstream history.
✏️Where is the life’s turning point? Is there a conversion?
There are two turning points in this book. The first is when she’s told about her dad having a hit out on her head, and the second is when she determines that it’s not real. Both had conversions when she had a major paradigm shift.
✏️For what does the writer apologize? In apologizing, how does the writer justify?
She apologized for believing in the story for so long, and for having her childhood and young adulthood so strongly impact her ability to get close to anyone but her mom, brother, and kids.
✏️What is the model – the ideal – for the author’s life?
The ideal she has is to understand reality and understand why her mom deviated from it.
✏️What is the end of life (the place where the writer has arrived, found closure, discovered rest)?
Ms Dakin found closure when she decided Stan wasn’t consciously trying to pull one over on her mother and herself; that, in fact, he was delusional.
✏️Is the author writing for herself or a group?
She obviously thinks the story is interesting to others (it was), but I think it was mainly for herself to help process and get closure
🖍️What parts of the writer’s experience does she assume to be universal?
The positive relationship with her mom may not be assumed to be universal exactly, but she doesn’t think she needs to explain why she’s so close to her mom, even though many adult children would have been bitter.
🖍️Which does she view as unique to herself?
Understandably, she doesn’t seem to think many people have dealt with this level of delusion from their parents. Or at least this complexity of delusion.
🖍️Am I part of the group that would be expected to closely identify with the author’s story?
I don’t know what sort of person would closely identify? People with delusional parents? People who moved around a lot as kids? People who were particularly close to their parents despite mental illness? I am none of those.
🖍️Does it ring true for me? What parts of the story resonate and which do not?
I am not certain Stan was delusional rather than lying. I don’t know how delusions of this nature work, but it seems like he’d have to know that he was, say, paying for flights and hotel rooms with his own money. Right? I mean, basically the assumption is that when he was with his wife he believed one story and when he was with Pauline’s mom he believed a completely different story? That he had a mysterious stash of money and nobody knew where it came from, but that he firmly believed it came from a secret government institution? That he wrote all these letters to Pauline and her mom from fictional people, but then later believed those letters really were from real people? What did he think WHILE he was writing them? Because he had to be holding some sort of at least loosely-formed belief at the time. I am skeptical. Pauline just wanted to think the best of him. It gave her closure, so I guess that’s good, at least. I mean, it hardly matters now that Stan and Pauline’s mom have both passed.
✏️What are the three moments or timeframes of the story? (When it happened, when it was written, when it was read.)
It happened between the mid 1970’s and late 1990’s. It was written in 2017, after her mom and Stan had passed. I read it in 2023.
🖍️What was the author’s reason for writing?
I think she needed closure.
🖍️Was the writer at a high or low point at the time of writing?
I think a high point, since she was getting closure
🖍️How has the biography changed in the years since its publication?
It has only been 6 years. Not much has changed.
✏️Where does the author’s judgement lie? What, or whom, does the author judge? Is this criticism valid?
She judged Stan at first, until she decided he was delusional. I think that judgment is very valid, as I don’t believe delusion makes sense in his case.
🖍️Who do I deem responsible for successes and failures of the author?
Successes – herself and to a lesser extent her mom. Failures – her mom and Stan
✏️What have I brought away from this story? What did I hope to get?
It was a good story that entertained me. That’s all I wanted.
Saturday was a pretty laid back day. I ran to Barnes and Noble with Aaron and dad and took D14 to a improv show for a late birthday present. It was a fun show, and D14 loved it.
Sunday
Sunday was a mixture of stress and fun. I worked, and at work I stressed about all the stuff I had to do after work even though I wouldn’t have time because I immediately had to leave for a play with the kids. But after some anxiety meds and a bite of reality (and as much help as Aaron could provide), I enjoyed Grinch with the D14 and M11. It was a great play. Though I’m curious about all those people with young kids. There isn’t a snowball’s chance in Hell IL5 would have sat through that. After the play, we went ro Perkins.
Monday
Monday was incredibly busy. I had been awakened in the night by IL5, who wasn’t dealing with this week’s gut cleanout well because he has a sphincter of steel and a will to withhold. Usually he complains of pain when he needs to go, but that night he was squirming, saying it tickled. (Probably gas?) I finally got him back to sleep, but my own sleep was disrupted.
I had an alarm set for 7am, but struggled intensely to get out of bed, and finally managed at 7:38. I had to skip cooking lunches for Aaron and me this week, and suffice with just a few things that needed to be done IMMEDIATELY on the computer. Then, I almost fell asleep during IL5’s virtual psychiatrist appointment – drifting off and drooping every time the psychiatrist started talking and I stopped. And I DID fall asleep during D14’s psychiatrist appointment.
Shortly after those appointments, I took D14 and IL5 to D14’s therapy appointment. I partially lay down on a bench in the waiting area and IL5 curled up on top of me. I don’t know how long I slept, but I awoke when IL5 began to roll off. Then I sat up and literally started snoring when I leaned my head back.
After dropping D14 off at school, I went home and took a Ritalin. This is exactly what the Ritalin is for, but I’m supposed to take it preemptively – before I get dangerously tired. (The danger being driving.) The we immediately hopped back in the car and I drove dad to an ATM. I took his card out of the ATM, and grabbed the money. Then I was so tired, I forgot that I’d dropped the card in the door if the car when I pulled it out, and thought the ATM had not returned the card at all. So later in the day, I called the bank to say his card had been eaten, but they said he had to call. Good thing, too, because I later found the card and remembered putting it there.
Anyway, after the ATM, I took dad to his Cardiac rehab appointment. It was supposed to take 1 hour 45 minutes, so I stayed until the therapist came out, then left to take IL5 to school. I ran some errands, and went back to pick dad up. The appointment went over by 30 minutes. After making a whopping 25 followup appointments (at two a week), I rushed over to get my TB test read (for my new third job). But I got there 3 minutes late, and the computer said it was cancelled. Apparently they cancelled a bunch of appointments because of understaffing, but the PA went ahead and read my test, since it was time sensitive.
Things calmed down after that, and after a quick grocery run, I relaxed for the rest of the evening till 9:30pm when I left for work.
Tuesday
Tuesday I took dad to three appointments. In the evening, my friend Liz came over and we cross-stitched and watched Doctor Who.
Wednesday
Wednesday, I really struggled to remain productive. it started with a disappointment. My client had apparently thought I’d agreed to come in to work on Thursday, and I had been looking forward to hanging out with dad. I had to choose between the two, and ended up choosing work. But it felt like the wrong decision after I’d made it.
D14 needed to come home from school because she threw up, which meant her morning appointment was cancelled. That would normally have felt great (extra time, yay!), but my mood wasn’t up for being cheerful.
At work, I only went through the motions. At home, I forced myself to get stuff done. IL5 went to sleep the moment he got home, throwing off his bedtime routine. I’d really been looking forward to reading to him, but I only managed to complete the onerous parts of the bedtime routine like brushing his teeth and trying to convince him to sit on the toilet.
I was happy to go to sleep.
Thursday
Thursday held the promise of expense. After work, I went to get my oil changed, and was informed that I needed a new tire (covered under warranty), new shocks, new filters, and new coil springs. I would be suspicious, but we’ve been with these guys for a while, and they’ve always done right by us. The coil springs ($700) needed to be ordered from Japan, but the shocks ($400) and the rest of it only needed to be ordered from Wisconsin.
Then I went to my day job, followed by going with Aaron to a seminar on how to register for high school. All I got out of that hour of my life is that Spanish is the most sensible elective to register for. (Because she can register for level 2 Spanish, having taken two years of it in middle school, and it’s best to do before she forgets all her Spanish.)
Friday
Friday I had my surgery. It went well, and I didn’t have any pain for the rest of the day. Not sitting for a week will be hard, though. M11, Aaron, dad and I watched the last episode of Good Omens Season 2, and then Aaron went downstairs to game with his friends, and the rest of us watched the first half of Fellowship of the Ring.
Week’s Photos
Letters Written
Seven letters against Isolation
One letter Maryland
One letter Massachusetts
Reading to myself
Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett
How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
Dopesick, by Beth Macy
Jesus and the Gospels, by Luke Timothy Johnson
Bible
Maleficent Seven, by Cameron Johnson
Horrorstor, by Grady Hendrix
Reading to IL4
Robo-Rabbit Boy Go, by Thomas Flintham
Super Rabbit Boy vs Super Rabbit Boss, by Thomas Flintham
Baxter is Missing, by Rebecca Elliot
Super Rabbit Boy Powers Up, by Thomas Flintham
Super King Viking Land, by Thomas Flintham
D13 reading
Crown of Midnight, by Sarah J Maas
Aaron reading
The Ocean at the End of the Lane, by Neil Gaiman
Media Completed
Baxter disappears and Eva spends the whole book looking for him. Cute.
When an accident renders baby Esk a wizard, Granny Weatherwax, the local witch, has to figure out how to tame the magic – girls are not meant to be wizards. It’s the wrong kind of magic. As always with Pratchett, this book is silly and fun. I loved watching young Esk come into her own.
When the archangel Gabriel shows up at Aziraphale’s shop with no memory, he and Crowley decide to hide him. That turns out to be a big deal. This season was complex and funny, but the ending was a little stressful.
Saturday felt like a bust by the end of it, but looking back on it the next day I felt better about the number of to-do’s I checked off my list (17, with a goal of 15). So, yay!
Anyway, it started out going to the hospital to pick up dad. But then they told me they weren’t going to release him. Oops. So I visited a while, then played D&D with my friends and Aaron.
I didn’t do anything at the end of the day, but somehow I made my goal, so I must have done more that I thought.
Sunday
Sunday was good. I got some errands run, picked up dad from the hospital, and celebrated New Year’s Eve with my friend Liz and dad by watching the first season of Cobra Kai.
Monday
Monday was tough for the first part. I had 5 important goals for the day (Grocery shopping, cleaning bedroom, putting away laundry, cleaning litter boxes, and cooking some chickpea curry for Aaron’s lunches). My motivation was rivaling that on those days I slept all day. My limbs felt heavy and I could hardly move. Today, as I’m typing this, I probably was just intimidated by that list, leading to low motivation.
Anyway, I went grocery shopping, but only because dad wanted to come. I cleaned one litter box (there are two). Then, dad wanted to go to the mall and walk around. He bought some books for the kids and a puzzle for Aaron. I bought some shoes. Then we headed to the airport.
We went in and met them by the baggage claim. It was SO nice seeing them. IL5 squealed with glee and ran to me with his hands outstretched. I got the longest hug ever.
IL5 and D14 didn’t want to go to Perkins, so I stayed with them while dad, Aaron, and Malcolm went to Perkins. Then we looked at our stockings and opened presents. They were mostly books.
Tuesday
Tuesday wasn’t too exciting. I came home from work and went as quickly as possible to dad’s appointment. Went from there to my second job. Cooked dinner and started a rule that IL5 can’t have screens during family meals. There was a massive temper tantrum, and then he curled up and went to sleep. Then I went back to work.
The good news is that I found a fiber supplement he will drink! I’m hoping it (and a probiotic if I can get him to take one) will help with his poop problems.
Wednesday
Wednesday I took D14 to an appointment, Red Lobster for lunch, to an appointment, and to another appointment. In the Evening, dad, Aaron, and I watched the last several episodes of School Spirits on Netflix. You have got to be kidding me with that end. That series is 6 hours of my life I won’t get back.
Thursday
Thursday was easy. When driving home from work, I missed my turn. I pretended I meant to do that, so I stopped and bought some tuna and salmon up the street. Then, I took IL5 to his poop physical therapy, where he was a champ at making the dolphin jump with his butt. He’s getting good at it! Then I took IL5 to school, ran some errands, got IL5 off the bus and cooked some tuna unsuccessfully (too long in the oven). D14 had an audition for Mary Poppins and dad and I watched the end of season 3 of Stranger Things.
Friday
I tried to make Friday a day for IL5. After feeding therapy, we went to McDonald’s playplace, then speech therapy. After that, we went to an indoor park. In the evening, D14, Aaron and I watched an episode of X-files. Then Aaron went downstairs to game with his friends, and D14 and I watched an episode of His Dark Materials. Then I read to D14 and IL5 before bed.
Letters Written
3 Letters Against Isolation
1 letter Belgium
Reading to myself
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett
Jesus and the Gospels, by Luke Timothy Johnson
How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
Bible
St Augustine’s Confessions, by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
Reading to IL4
Llama Destroys the World, by Jonathan Stutzman
Llama Unleashes the Alpacalypse, by Jonathan Stutzman
Llama Rocks the Cradle of Chaos, by Jonathan Stutzman
Super Cheat Codes and Secret Modes, by Thomas Flintham
Do-You-Think-He-Saurus, by Aaron Blabey
D13 reading
Crown of Midnight, by Shannon Messenger
Exile, by Shannon Messenger (I’m reading this to her)
Media Completed
This was an amusing paradigm shift looking at present day Johnny and Danny from Karate kid from mostly Johnny’s point of view. It was fun and entertaining.
This is about Maddie, who suddenly finds herself a ghost in her high school. She spends the entire show trying to find her murderer. It was a great show until the end, which I hated. I feel like I wasted 6 hours of my and dad’s lives.
The third season of Stranger Things introduces some awesome new characters and has some truly awesome moments. It also has its sad moments.
The Good Guy’s Club are chased by dinosaurs after accidentally zooming back in time. Hilarious, as usual.
Saturday was very productive. After dropping my family off at the airport for their trip to visit grandma popo, I went grocery shopping, wrote two letters, and did a massive laundry overhaul. I went through all of IL5’s and M11’s clothes and weeded out stuff that was too small. Then, I found all the bags of clothes one size up for IL5. At that time, I realized that there were 4 bags of unlabeled clothes that I had to sort. Plus, I washed some new hand-me-downs from my friend’s nephew. I will sort them on Sunday and bag it all up with proper labels (so there’s another few hours of work left. While I was sorting, dad and I watched a few episodes of Stranger Things, season 3.
I hear there was a mostly uneventful flight after a delay at the beginning. The family was thrilled to make it to Oregon.
Sunday
On Christmas Eve morning, I went to church with dad, and then to work. I wrote 2 letters and discovered two new places to write as a volunteer (I already write to inmates). They are Letters Against Isolation (to elderly people) and Letters Against Depression (to people with mental illnesses). I committed to writing 14 letters to the first and 2 letters to the second. Probably too much commitment, but you know me. At least I have the week “off.” Later, I watched the first 5 episodes of “School Spirits,” with dad. I had meant to finish all the laundry sorting I’d started the day before, but that’s not what happened. I could have done it while watching, but completely forgot.
Monday
Christmas was fun. Almost immediately after arriving home from work, I had a video call with Aaron and the kids so I could watch them open presents. They seemed to like their presents.
Then, I wrote a couple of letters, after which my friend Liz came over to celebrate Christmas. We also sort of celebrated with J19, his girlfriend, and her 3yo son. The last two got stuck here because of a flat tire.
Liz and I chatted, watched Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, and ate a steak dinner.
Dad spent Christmas with my sister, and my family went to celebrate with Aaron’s maternal extended family.
Tuesday
Tuesday was weird. I was super tired all morning – so much so that I took a nap for most of it. I then went to my pre-op appointment. I was supposed to hang out with a friend afterwards but was too tired. So I came home and slept till dinner, then again after dinner till 10pm. I got up for an hour, then slept through the night. Not sure what that was about.
Aaron apparently also spent the day sleeping, but he had a fever, so there’s some excuse.
Wednesday
Wednesday I video-visited with one of my inmate pen pals in the morning, then went to Perkins with dad. I worked on D14’s character creation for her new D&D campaign. Then I had a video-call date with Aaron in the afternoon, followed by a D&D oneshot in the evening.
Thursday
Thursday, after going to bed drunk despite knowing I wouldn’t sleep well, I was awakened at 4:30 am to my dad saying he had chest pain – what should we do? So I called 911. Then dad asked me “Should I go in?” Uhhh. It’s my decision? So I said yes. Because that’s what the cardiologist said to do.
So to the ER we go. At 9:00, he was admitted to the hospital, and I went home and slept. And ate. And slept. Took a few (yes, 3) baths. Slept some more. Wrote a letter. Went to work.
Friday
Friday was productive. I cleaned my closet (though now I have a lot of stuff on my bedroom floor that I’ll need to find places for). Now I can move my photo project into the closet for more easy access. I also spent a good amount of time reading, which was nice. I came up 10 pages short of my weekly goal, but that’s ok. Dad’s still in the hospital, but he got his angiogram. They couldn’t put in a stent because of calcification, but they were able to clear out some of the blockage. Aaron helped the kids put the finishing touches on their new D&D characters.
Week’s Photos
Letters Written
1 letter Michigan
1 letter Pennsylvania
1 letter Virginia
1 letter Maryland
1 letter Maine
4 Letters Against Isolation
2 Letters Against Depression
Reading to myself
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Great Mythologies of the World
How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
Bible
Jesus and the Gospels, by Luke Timothy Johnson
St Augustine’s Confessions, by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
Maleficent Seven, by Cameron Johnson
D13 reading
Crown of Midnight, by Sarah J Mass
Media Completed
A bard thief teams up with a group of adventures to rescue his daughter from a tyrant. Very funny and reasonably interesting plot.
In this Great Course lecture series, Greek/Roman, Asian, African, and Native American mythologies are covered. This was a thorough and interesting course, and I’m glad I listened to it.
Saturday we attempted a new strategy for emptying IL5’s bowels, as the X-ray showed that he has a large stool load again – an enema. After much refusal on IL5’s part, I managed to get it in against his will. It didn’t work. Nada. I’m beginning to worry we’ll have to hospitalize him again.
Aaron and I played D&D, which was a good stress relief after all the running around to appointments and the hospital for the last month.
I also got some reading done for the first time in a week. So overall it was a stress-relieving day despite the disappointment on another failed gut clean-out.
Sunday
Sunday Aaron, D14, and M11 went to Peter Pan in a major musical theater. They loved it. There was flying and confetti. The tickets were a Christmas present from my dad.
Monday
Monday morning started with an IEP meeting for D14. They decided that her special education would continue through high school, and that she’d be in the special education class in fall. I don’t think she’s excited about that.
Then D14 had an appointment, followed by me sorting a month’s worth of laundry for 5 people. That was an hour and a half of sorting. Yes, it would be nice to sort more frequently, but technically it’s D14’s job. The laundry still needs to be folded and put away. 藍
Hero had a vet appointment. She is horribly overweight and I am wondering if there’s a health issue causing it. We’re waiting for the test results to come back.
Then I picked up D14 for yet another appointment.
We all went out to dinner that night.
Tuesday
Tuesday, after a quick grocery shopping trip, dad and I had a rather pointless phone appointment with a clinical pharmacist. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that appointment.
Next, I took Malcolm to see his eating disorder clinic psychologist. Malcolm has gained 2 pounds! Only 4 more! D14 had to be dropped off at an appointment after that.
In the evening, my friend Liz came over and we watched Doctor Who with Aaron and D14.
Wednesday
Wednesday was mostly a good day. It started with a knee physical therapy appointment for D14. Then I ran errands with dad, including mailing all my Christmas cards. I drove to the AV post office the next suburb over because theirs has drive-through boxes. But I found a long line to get in, and when I finally made it to the boxes, they were jam-packed full. So, the AV post office failed me. I drove back to the R post office, and went in. Their patronage is a lot less voluminous.
Then I drove dad to his hearing aid appointment. Despite his snipping at me for making yet another appointment for him, he was very appreciative to hear again.
Aaron was home early from work, and we had some nice quality time before IL4 and M11 returned home. (D14 was at an appointment with her mom.) Then I had a good time allowing M11 and IL4 mine me with the Minecraft pickaxe. Usually them beating me over the head with a toy would annoy me, but I was in a good mood.
Thursday
Thursday started with IL5’s poop physical therapy. He got to move the dolphin with his butt. I’m proud of him for letting us put the biofeedback stickers on.
Next, I worked. My client just broke her leg and hospice was in and out, so I ended up driving an hour round-trip for an hour of work, but I’m glad I can help as her son was at his wit’s end.
In the evening, before I read to IL5, Aaron and I watched a couple episodes of Supernatural.
Friday
Friday IL5 had speech therapy. Then we did Santa. I immediately proceeded to lose the hard copies of the pictures, but have a digital one, so it’s all good.
Then I worked on J19’s medical insurance fiasco. He went to the doctor a while back, and his insurance didn’t pay. So we were trying to figure out why. Turns out my sister had his insurance under the last name B, which is our maiden name, but not his legal name. After much hold music, I finally got transferred to someone to change the name on the insurance, but he seems to be on vacation, so we’ll have to start all over again after Christmas.
I ended the day with some reading while the others packed, and then Aaron gamed with his friends.
Week’s Photos
Letters Written
1 letter Massachusetts
Reading to myself
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Maleficent Seven, by Cameron Johnston
Great Mythologies of the World, by various
Bible
Mahabharata
Dopesick, by Beth Macy
Reading to IL4
Super Rabbit Boy Blasts Off!, by Thomas Flintham
Super Rabbit Boy’s Team-up Trouble, by Thomas Flintham
A Goblin Problem, by Diane Walker
Super Rabbit Boy’s Time-Jump, by Thomas Flintham
Super King Viking Land, by Thomas Flintham
Llama Destroys the World, by Jonathan Stutzman
Llama Unleashes the Alpacalypse, by Jonathan Stutzman
D13 reading
Handbook for Dragon Slayers, by Merrie Haskell
Media Completed
Ethan buys an engagement ring, but mixes it up with another man’s package from Tiffany’s. When Rachel receives this ring from her boyfriend, who took the ring despite knowing it wasn’t his, rom com stuff happens. Cute. Worth a watch.
When Sophie gets cursed by The Witch of the Wastes, she leaves her dull life and ventures into the wastes. There she meets Howl and others living in his moving castle. But everything is more complicated than she bargained for. Fantastic movie. I am wondering how the book compares in plot. I enjoyed another book by the author when I was a kid.
Zelli goes to the Dungeon Academy and fights bullies. She finds that friendship is the mightiest ally. Very cute. Great pictures. Meant to be read by a second or third grader, but appealing to my 5yo.
Saturday was mostly relaxing. I slept in and had our weekly Skype call with my mother-in-law. Then I went to urgent care and (due partly to the save my spot function) was able to get seen right away. I had a small ear infection – most of the pain was due to pressure build-up. Then I rested the rest of the day.
Sunday
Sunday Aaron, D14, and M11 went to an escape room. They got out with 1 minute 36 seconds left. My ear was feeling a lot better in the morning, but I was pretty exhausted by the end of the day.
Monday
Monday was a cheerful day for me. It was clear skies, and I was feeling mostly better (my ear is still clogged, but no longer hurting). I took D14 to her appointment and ran Malcolm’s trombone to maintenance to remove the pen cap he’d dropped down it. They removed it for free! IL5 had swim lessons and M11 had a Boy Scout party.
Tuesday
Tuesday was a pretty quick day. I had a dentist appointment to fill my ground-down teeth (I even wore my mouthguard the night after that). Then I took dad to his PT appointment.
Wednesday
Wednesday morning I got up super early and got a CT scan of my tailbone. The purpose was to check if the tumor down there is attached to the bone or not, and if it’s attached to the bone they’ll want to remove it to biopsy it. However, the CT scan didn’t clearly visualize the tumor, so we still don’t know if it’s attached to the bone.
Then dad got the rest of his teeth removed. After that I !!!!took a nap!!!! OMG. It was glorious. Dad had an appointment with his orthopedic doctor after that. He said we didn’t have to get the potential cancer scanned in again till February, when his arm wasn’t broken anymore. So yay for that.
The day ended with Aaron’s Christmas family experience. He’d kept it a secret from us (though my Facebook ads gave me a big hint after he purchased the tickets), so it was a huge surprise to the kids that we were going indoor skydiving. Everyone had a great time. IL5 was pretty skeptical, and didn’t end up flying. But he did stand in the wind tunnel when it had a healthy breeze going. And he loved watching everyone else fly.
Thursday
Thursday was exhausting. I had my bariatric doctor appointment, even though I don’t think I’m technically bariatric anymore. I will probably see her until I reach my goal weight.
Then I took IL5 to his poop physical therapy (we worked on core strength – homework is for him to kick stuff with both legs and continue the daily sitting on the toilet relaxing). Then we went to poop psychology, where I was told he could just focus on PT and not come to psychology anymore because she had nothing to add. We made one more appointment 3 weeks out just in case, but I should cancel if he’s making progress.
Then I took D14 to her knee PT, where she was given a smaller set of exercises since she’s struggling to do all her exercises daily due to mood.
In the evening, dad was having chest pain, and took 3 nitroglycerin in sequence (the most he can take) and when that didn’t work, he chose to go to bed rather than call 911. So I went to work and slept poorly.
I’m pondering not going on the vacation to Oregon with the rest of the family over Christmas. I don’t know if dad should be alone with these chest pains. Except he’d be pissed if I stayed back for him. Royally pissed. So I think I might tell him I was dreading the flight anyway (untrue) because my tailbone will be like torture after 30 minutes of sitting in that seat, and usually for shows I am able to stand for 15 minutes during intermission and temporarily releive the pain, but I can’t do that on a plane. After 3 hours of that, I’ll REALLY be hurting, and then I’ll sit in a car driving for an hour to get to my in-laws’ house. (After this excuse occurred to me I AM dreading the flight.)
Friday
On Friday, I took IL5 to speech and then feeding therapy. He, Aaron, dad and I then went out to eat.
Week’s Photos
Reading to myself
Great Mythologies of the World, by various professors
The Eye of the World, by Robert Jordan
Run, Hide, Repeat, by Pauline Dakin
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
D13 reading
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World, by Amy Reed
Exile, by Shannon Messenger – I’m reading this to her
Saturday I was exhausted. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I couldn’t do my weekly crock pot lunches for Aaron and me because my shopping trip time was Thursday evening, when dad had his heart attack.
After a Skype call with my mother-in-law, I took IL4 to visit my dad in the hospital. He was a little less well-behaved than Friday, but we survived. Then D14, Aaron, and I watched an episode of X-Files, during which I fell asleep. I also slept through part of dinner with Aaron and my friend Liz, and part of the play “It’s an Honerable Life,” (performed in the Klingon language).
I was sleeping fine when my rude nephew J19 woke me at 2am with a call, asking me to order him an Uber home. It took a couple hours to fall back to sleep.
Sunday
Sunday morning my voice was going in and out and I had a minor cough and sore throat. I know my client doesn’t want to get sick, so I texted him, and he said not to come in. Which was disappointing, since we need the money, but at least I was available to pick dad up from the hospital. He’s home again.
In the evening the family watched “Spirited Away” and then decorated the Christmas tree.
Monday
Monday I was very productive. I made Gumbo for Aaron and my work lunches. I did some housework, and did a virtual doctor appointment for IL4. Then I took him to school, and I ran a bunch of errands and made several phone calls.
In the late afternoon, the orthopedic oncologist I spoke to a few weeks ago called me. He said he’d discussed my case with some colleagues, and they suggested that he should give me a CT scan of my tailbone, and if the tumor was, indeed, attached to the bone (as opposed to being a nerve tumor) he wanted to remove and biopsy it. Ugh. That sounds painful. And like I won’t be able to get stuff done for a while.
In the evening, IL4 had swim lessons and M11 had Boy Scouts.
Tuesday
Tuesday was busy. I went almost directly from work to pick up D13 for her appointment. But I’d double-booked myself, so when I dropped her off, I took dad to the dentist to get his top teeth pulled. I left him there, and went back to D13’s appointment to take part in the last 20 minutes. Afterwards, I picked up dad and dropped D13 off at school.
After making phone calls and running errands, I took dad to his physical therapy appointment for his shoulder. During his appointment, I was able to run one more errand and make more phone calls.
In the evening, IL4 was rewarded with extra TV time after his bedtime routine started because he pooped in the toilet!!!
Wednesday
Wednesday was extremely frustrating. I had a nasty cold which made thinking and staying awake really hard. I was supposed to get an oil change immediately after work, but D14 texted about this horrible sore throat where even breathing was horrible. So I had to cancel the oil change to take her to urgent care. Even though I did the “save my spot” function to reduce the waiting room time, we ended up waiting an hour after being roomed.
Then I took dad to his cardiac MRI – only to realize he wasn’t supposed to take caffeine within 12 hours. I had been told that by one person, and then told 1 hour by another, and for some reason I believed the second person, even though she really wasn’t an expert on the subject. So we needed to reschedule for January. They were depending on that cardiac MRI to determine why he had a heart attack, so I’m really feeling like a failure. I keep reminding myself that I have a lot on my plate right now, and I’m bound to drop a ball, but this was an important ball.
I had been going to take M11’s trombone to the music shop because he dropped a pen cap down the slide of his trombone. The music shop is almost a half hour away, and is on the way to the location with the MRI, but M11 took it to school. So now I’ll have to make a special trip.
By the end of the day, my throat hurt, by eyes were bloodshot and stinging, I had a headache, and my brain was foggy. That was on top of feeling like a failure.
Thursday
Thursday I awoke with the cold symptoms again. Yuck. D14 had a video appointment, then dad had a PCP appointment. Dad’s doctor made me feel better about messing up the cardiac MRI instructions by saying that they were only doing it because they can’t run the other tests right now. That the MRI would give them an indication, but they really needed to run the other tests.
By the time I got home from dad’s appointment, I was almost convinced I had an ear infection. I asked Aaron to come home early and get IL5 off the bus, and signed up on save-my-spot on urgent care. But by the time I should be leaving for urgent care, my ear felt a little better, and I decided not to waste my time at urgent care.
It was IL5’s birthday, so we opened presents and had a cake for D14 and IL5. I don’t usually combine their birthdays, but there was a lot going on this year. D14 understood, and I think IL5 really liked blowing out candles at the same time as D14. The cake had a dinocorn on it.
Friday
Friday is kinda a blur because I was feeling so tired from the pressure and pain in my ear. It started with bringing IL5 to the hospital to get another gut x-ray. His gastroenterologist wanted to see how we’re doing at keeping his gut from backing up. To make the trip more fun, he decided to walk backwards a good deal of the way, and allowing this behavior is often faster and less stressful than fighting it.
Then I took him to feeding therapy, where he actually lay down on the floor and rolled to our location. He apparently proceeded to ignore the therapist as if she weren’t in the room for the next 45 minutes.
Then, I told him we were in a rush to get home, and that he would get to stay with M11 while my dad and I were at an appointment. He refused to move (or struggled against being carried) until I said he could come along with me and dad.
Once at the hospital with dad and me, he slithered down the stairs like a snake. But luckily we were early, so he didn’t really cause us problems.
Dad’s MRI of his arm was meant to tell us whether he has cancer. It took 1.5 hours of lying in the machine on his broken shoulder (I’d asked if we could wait until the shoulder was healed, but the doctor was in a rush for this). Then, they released him into the labyrinthine recesses of the hospital without telling him how to get back to the waiting room. So he got lost.
Meanwhile, IL5 was upset and screaming about how he wanted to go with Bobby. Finally, he tipped the round table in the waiting room over, rolled it to a new position, righted it, and used it as a footrest. But at least he was happy again.
After all of that, the results of the MRI were inconclusive, and the radiologist suggested either a CT scan of the elbow, or an MRI of the elbow. I haven’t told dad this yet, because he was very reluctant to get checked for cancer in the first place.
I got home feeling miserable and tired due to my ear ache.
Week’s Photos
Puck isn’t sure about IL4 taking his picture
Letters Written
1 letter Massachusetts
Reading to myself
Great Mythologies of the World
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Run, Hide, Repeat by Pauline Dakin
Reading to IL4
The Great Mathemachicken: Hide and Go Beak, by Nancy Krulik
D13 reading
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World, by Any Reed
Media Completed
When Q is sent down to show the brave Klingon warrior Baily that life is better than an honorable death, he must flashback through time to see why. This was hilarious – filled with Star Trek jokes. Performed in Klingon with English subtitles.
Chihiro must rescue her parents from the wicked witch that runs a bathhouse for spirits. This movie is so funny as well as cute and engaging. The kids loved it – even the 4 year old.
I didn’t do much on Saturday. We were going to clean out IL4’s gut, but he had a fever and slept all day. When he awoke, he was covering his ears and complaining of throat pain, so we decided to take him to urgent care to get his ears and throat looked at. Aaron came to keep me company. IL4 had an ear infection in both ears – apparently a fairly bad one in the left. They gave us flavored liquid antibiotics, and we tried putting it in milk, but didn’t succeed in getting the first dose down him.
Sunday
Sunday I felt a little burned out. I worked, then tried to solve the puzzle of how to get IL4 to take his antibiotic. We finally settled on 1:1 ratio to chocolate syrup, as suggested by the nurse-line. It worked, though it’s a slow process. It might not be feasible in the morning before school.
Monday
Monday morning started with dad’s dentist appointment. They pulled 5 teeth, which only took a half hour because the teeth were already loose.
After the dentist, I tried giving IL4 his antibiotic in chocolate syrup again, and he hands-down refused it. So I’d gotten a total of 3 half-doses in him since Saturday night, and was out of options. I wanted to switch to a crushable pill, but the phone number to urgent care was out of service. I tried using their online urgent care option, but that was out of service too. I tried calling the main facility phone number, and told the computer answering service that I wanted to be connected to urgent care, and it answered that urgent care is walk-in only. I called again and asked to talk to a human, and the computer put me on a callback list which never called back. In the evening, I took him to urgent care, where (after 45 minutes in the waiting room despite my using the reserve-a-spot feature) the nurse was awesome and gave me a prescription right away without waiting for the doctor. But it was a prescription for a capsule, not a crushable pill. So we cut the tip off the capsule and poured the powder into his milk. That seemed to work. Yay!
We have at least one mouse in the house, and I put out a mouse trap behind the fridge a week ago. Monday I checked it and all the peanut butter was off the trap, but it hadn’t sprung. Good news is that a cat got one. Hopefully the sole mouse. Fingers crossed.
I made the mistake of confidently drinking one of IL4’s potions. I often confidently do so because I am not squeamish. This time, I knew he’d mixed water, chocolate syrup, and a dash of coke. What I didn’t know is he’d surreptitiously added half a tin of black pepper, as well.
Dad took a bath and couldn’t get out, so I called 911. The medics managed pretty well.
Tuesday
Tuesday started out well enough but ended with a bang.
First, I took IL4 to his poop psychologist and they worked on relaxation techniques. Then after some errands, I took D13 to physical therapy. I did a little bit of housework, and relaxed a bit in the evening.
Then, I had an argument with J19. He had opened a window in his room and was letting our heat out into the 20 degree weather. We don’t have money for that.
Next IL4 suddenly perked up, despite having already been through his entire bedtime routine. He really wanted to make a potion (though when I told him it wasn’t potion-making time, he told me he wanted to make “juice”). There was a lot of kicking and screaming. Finally, we calmed him down. He even apologized to Aaron.
Then, I was on my way to work – ready to escape the madness at home – when I got text message paragraph from someone about their mental health. The car’s computerized voice read it out, vastly missing the raw emotion that was implied by the words. It would have been funny, but I wasn’t in the mood to be amused. (It’s a little amusing now, though.) Anyway, all I could say was: “I’m driving now, so I can’t give that text the answer it deserves. Then I will be at work and unable to text for a while. Try to sleep.”
I was glad to go to sleep.
Wednesday
Wednesday I took D13 to an appointment then took dad on a bunch of errands. One of them was to buy a needle that wouldn’t break while trying to sew on Boy Scout patches. I literally stood there for several minutes trying to figure out what needle to choose. Then, in the check out lane, I discovered fabric glue! Seriously?! I can just GLUE them on? That made my day.
Thursday
Thursday I went directly from one job to another. I was happy to do so because I haven’t been able to work as much with all the appointments kids & dad have, and that cuts into income.
After work, I had planned on going on a massive shopping trip with dad, but he was feeling fatigued, and went into his room to take a nap. So I got into the bathtub for a nice hot bath. As soon as I was settled, I hear dad scream “Rachel!” I yelled “What?” But to no avail, he’d gone back into his room. So I got out to check on him.
He was gasping for breath, pale, sweaty, and complaining of chest pain. I called 911 and gave him a nitroglycerin. The paramedics came and took him away.
We found out very little in the ER – they were thinking either pneumonia (there was an “unimpressive,” but present fog that might be pneumonia in his X-ray. But he also had “unimpressive,” but present increases in troponin, which is a sign of heart damage.
They checked him in and I went to work.
Friday
Friday after work, I took IL4 to speech therapy, from there to the hospital, and from there to feeding therapy. He actually behaved quite well in the hospital. When Bobby got out of bed into the chair, IL4 got to take a ride in the bed and press every button except the red one (the nurse call button). He obeyed!
The doctor said dad did not have pneumonia, but that he seemed to have had a heart attack, albeit, a very minor one. They were going to treat him for that, and release him when he can walk around, which dad says he could do now. Of course, it’ll be a new doctor starting Saturday, so who knows when he’ll be released.
In the evening D14 and I went out to A Stocking Full of Awesome, by The Danger Committee, which is a knife-throwing/juggling show. They are also comedians, so it was a pretty good show. It was D14’s first time seeing them, and she loved it. It was her birthday! She’s 14 now!
Week’s Photos
Letters Written
1 letter Maine
1 letter Maryland
1 letter Texas
1 letter Virginia
Reading to myself
Great Mythologies of the World, by various
Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
Reading to IL4
Caveboy is Bored, by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen
Super Rabbit All-Stars, by Thomas Flintham
D13 reading
This is Not a Drill, by K A Holt
The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World, by Amy Reed
Exile, by Shannon Messenger (I’m reading this to her)
Media Completed
When a literary scholar goes to Istanbul for a conference, she finds a djinn’s bottle. As the story unfolds, they begin to understand each other. Interesting twist on the jennie in a bottle story.
I’m really confused as to what this book was about. It was probably supposed to be post-apocalyptic, but unlike most post-apocalyptic stories it didn’t write in some way for the reader to get her bearings. It just burst in with the story as if bearings had already been found. This was obviously a stylistic approach rather than a mistake. I almost gave the book 3.5 stars because I was so confused, but it kept me coming back for more – interested about how the story would unfold. I caution only complex readers to approach this book.
Hibernator's Library 