News

Saturday

Saturday was a lot of fun…a change-up from last week. I slept in till 9:30, played D&D, and had a date with Aaron. We spent some of it shopping for Thanksgiving, but we also spent a couple hours hanging out at our local tavern, gossiping.

Sunday

Sunday after work D13, Aaron, and I watched some X-Files.

Monday

Monday D13 had a morning appointment and an afternoon appointment, so I just decided to keep her home for the day. I managed to clean the kitchen (cleaning is always an amazing feat for me). An electrician came and changed out the outlets from two-prong to three-prong in dad’s room because he was having difficulty plugging in his oxygen compressor. Then I took IL4 to swim lessons. While M11 was at Boy Scouts finishing up his Signs and Signals merit badge, D13, IL4, Dad, and I went out for steak.

Tuesday

Tuesday we had dad’s follow-up with his primary care provider, and we had a lot to talk about. But the main issue was that he is now feeling a lot of discomfort in his legs which his doctor says is nerve pain. He says the only solutions are injection or surgery, and he’d rather not do either at this time due to dad’s other issues. He says luckily dad is already on pain meds for the arm, and that he hopes the leg pain will go away before the pain meds are used up.

Later, we had IL4’s parent teacher conference at the daycare. His teacher there said that he was a joy to have, and that he was very smart – knowing his letters and his numbers. That’s nice to hear, because I’ve told his special education teachers that I don’t think he’s cognitively behind, and they always nod as if they disagree and don’t want to say. But maybe I’m being paranoid about the meaning of their nod, based on the fact that last year’s teacher told me outright that IL4 was cognitively behind.

In the evening, J19 cooked everyone grilled cheese.

Wednesday

Wednesday I was in a reasonably good mood all day, though was feeling mildly unmotivated. I hadn’t slept well the night before because my brain was trying to process the onslaught of information about dad’s medical needs. I guess it’s finally hitting me how much there is to pay attention to at the moment.

M11 had a morning appointment with his eating disorder psychologist. He hasn’t gained any weight since a month ago, but he’s not lost any, nor has he grown taller – so at least we’re not working with a moving target weight. He needs to gain 6 pounds.

I had a lovely lunch with Aaron, then took D13 to her physical therapy for her knee. They increased the number of exercises she was meant to do at home, much to her chagrin. But she was proud of herself for walking around all day without her crutches.

In the evening, I brined the turkey and then relaxed. The older two kids left with biomom to visit their grandpa.

Thursday

Thanksgiving was good. After returning from work, I threw the turkey into the oven and cooked the feast – turkey, corn casserole, garlic mashed potatoes, and stuffing. We also cleaned our bedroom so that the electrician could work on our outlets. IL4 actually joined us at the table for dinner (though he had Froot Loops). J19 and his girlfriend L joined us, as well, so it was a nice-sized feast.

Friday

Friday was a good day. After work, dad and I went to buy the bookcase he’s buying us for Christmas. He ended up getting a dresser for M11, too, since his dresser (which is going to IL4) is too small for the way he stuffs clothes in there.

I relaxed for most of the rest of the day, even while the electrician was finishing up changing outlets in a couple of rooms. Then in the evening, we took dad and IL4 out to a fancy steakhouse for dad’s last steak before his teeth begin to be pulled for dentures.

Aaron and I finished up the day by watching the new Haunted Mansion movie.

Letters Written

• 1 letter Louisiana
• 1 letter Washington
• 1 letter Pennsylvania

Reading to myself

• Leech, by Hiron Ennes
• Run, Hide, Repeat, by Hiron Ennes
• The Eye of the World, by Robert Jordan
• Great Mythologies of the World, by Various Professors
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible
• Great Courses Saint Augustine’s Confessions, by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
• Mahabharata

Reading to IL4

• Gimme Shelter, by Doreen Cronin
• Super Cheat Codes and Secret Modes, by Thomas Flintham
• Princess in Black and the Perfect Princess Party, by Shannon Hale

D13 reading

• The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World, by Amy Reed

Media Completed

The chicken squad decide to dig a shelter with amusing results.

When Princess Magnolia has a perfect birthday party, her ring alarm keeps going off. Will the princess guests discover her secret? Colorful and cute, with some humor.

When Ben is asked to photograph some ghosts in a haunted mansion, he is skeptical. But the ghosts aren’t skeptical of him. So he, a strange priest, and a mother-son duo create a team for the dehaunting of the mansion. This was a bit of juvenile fun for me and Aaron to watch. Funny, cute, but not deep with plot.

News

Saturday

Saturday had some fun, some stressful stuff. Dad was told he was going to be released Sunday because of his wheezing. Then he started having chest pain, so they moved him to the ICU and said he’d either get a stress test or an angiogram on Monday. If they find problems, they may need to put in a stent, which would be one more night in the hospital after Monday. I’m hoping he’s out by Thursday, because we have an appointment to get his MRI ordered.

In the evening, Aaron and I had a date. We went to a local tavern within walking distance from my house. We did exciting stuff like discuss whether to get a high or low deductible plan as well as everyone’s health issues

Sunday

Sunday I popped by to visit dad in the morning, before work. The doctor said he didn’t really belong in the ICU, which I agreed with. He said he figured dad may need some stents, but that we wouldn’t know till the angiogram or stress test Monday.

After work, we played Ticket to Ride as a family. Even IL4 played – he drew and discarded cards, and occasionally blocked a path by placing a train. It really stressed out D13 who wants to play PRECISELY by the rules. I figured he was just adding an extra level of complexity to the game and enjoyed being part of the family activity.

Monday

Monday was another busy day. After making croc pot stew for Aaron and my lunches, I sorted a month’s worth of 5 people’s laundry. Usually D13 does that once a week or so, but with her knee problem and being busy with every day rehearsal for the play (which is over now) laundry had accumulated. I still have to fold it and put it away, but it took me 1.5 hours to drag it all upstairs and sort it.

Dad’s hospitalist called. They couldn’t do a stress test or some other test that I can’t remember the name of because of his arm. They couldn’t do an angiogram because his hemoglobin was too low. They thought maybe he was losing blood, so they called ENT to see if it was his nose. That was in the works.

Orthopedic oncology called, too. Apparently my doctor who found my coccyx tumor by MRI decided to refer me without telling me. So that was a surprise. They triaged me to next day appointment, which stressed me out due to the apparent importance of getting me in quickly.

Then I took IL4 to school and went to the hospital to visit dad. In the evening, I decided not to take IL4 to swim because of a diaper rash that has been getting worse since a week ago. It even has blisters. He only wears diapers at night, so this is confusing. I took him to Urgent Care at the suggestion of the nurse line, and the doctor suggested that it was infected and gave us a cream. Insurance doesn’t cover the cream, and they couldn’t get it done that day because the pharmacist had to mix it.

Tuesday

Tuesday I rushed directly from work to feeding therapy for IL4. Because we’d had no luck the last two feeding appointments, I tried really easy foods and rewarded him with a cookie at the end. He was a superstar during this appointment.

After that, we went to IL4’s poop physical therapy. She’s going to use biofeedback – she’ll put stickers on him and make him do kegels. It’s hooked up to a game on the computer. When he’s clenched, the rocket takes off, and when he relaxes it docks. But we just did his biceps Tuesday, to demonstrate. Then we learned some exercises, where he stuck his belly out and hissed like a snake while sitting (which the therapist says helps you poop).

Then, I dropped IL4 off and picked up D13. I took her to her knee physical therapy intake. We learned she had hyper-mobile joints. He also told us to never sit on our feet because it’ll give us arthritis. I do that all the time. Anyway, he gave her some exercises to help with the knee strength.

Pretty closely on the heels of that appointment, I had my orthopedic oncology appointment. He said that my tumor was probably just a cyst formed after the tailbone trauma of our car accident last year. That sounds about right to me. Why would cancer form because I’d injured my tailbone?

I had been going to visit dad after that appointment, but I’d reached my capacity that day (considering I needed to go to work that night). So my friend came over and we had pizza and gossiped.

Wednesday

Dad was released from the hospital on Wednesday. We had instructions to pop by the equipment store and pick up an oxygen compressor, and get him appointments with ENT, cardiology, and his PCP. I also needed to get him an emergency dentist appointment (his fillings popped out), but had trouble finding a time at a place that takes medicare. So I made an appointment for Thursday for a check in (they don’t have enough time to put in the fillings right away). I had to move his Thursday orthopedic appointment to Friday and cancel IL4’s speech therapy that week.

Thursday

Thursday I took dad to the dentist. He claims that he hasn’t been to a dentist since the 70’s and that may be true. But some fillings fell out, and he needed to be seen. The dentist determined that he had to have his teeth pulled to get dentures. I understood that he was only getting the molars pulled, and he understood that he was getting them all pulled, so I need to call on Monday and find out. I also had a dentist appointment, but I’m keeping all my teeth. In the evening, we went to Red Lobster.

Friday

Friday I was supposed to take dad to an appointment with the orthopedic doctor to follow up on dad’s broken arm and get an MRI of the spot that could be cancer. But he wasn’t feeling well, so we had to cancel.

The rest of the day felt like it had been cancelled too. I kept trying to check my to-do list and prioritize things, but dad kept interrupting with health needs, and J19’s entertainment (he wanted to go to a concert and talked dad into buying the tickets, but then I had to make the purchase on Ticketmaster, which turned out to be more difficult than you’d expect). Then dad encouraged me to do Christmas and birthday shopping for him, which turned out to be experiences (shows) rather than physical gifts, for the most part. I still need Christmas and birthday for IL4.

Then M11 had to pack for Boy Scout camp, which took micromanaging on my part because he was reluctant to pack for some reason. He claimed he wanted to do homework.

By the time Aaron got home, I was gibbering about how I got nothing done, and felt so unaccomplished for the day. In reality, I got 20 items checked off my to-do list  – they just weren’t the ones I’d had planned.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Alberta, Canada
• 1 letter Maryland

Reading to myself

• Leech, by Hiron Ennes
• Great Mythologies of the World, by various

Reading to IL4

• Llama Destroys the World by Jonathan Stutzman
• Llama Unleashes the Alpacalypse by Jonathan Stutzman

M10 reading

• A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, by T Kingfisher

D13 reading

• Outsiders, by S E Hinton
• Throne of Glass, by Sarah J Maas

Games Played

News

Saturday

Saturday I played D&D while dad and Aaron went to the afternoon production of the kids’ play.

Sunday

Sunday the kids had their last show

Monday

Monday I either had an unexpected side effect from my anxiety med or I had a rather strong bout from my sleeping disorder. When I got up, I stumbled into a wall. When it came to driving D13 to her appointment, I seemed ok, so we went.

Then, while IL4 and I were sitting in the waiting room, I fell asleep. My mom brain eventually heard IL4 grabbing something from the coffee area. I looked up. He had a coffee cup and was holding a large container of sugar. I leapt up and almost face-planted in the vending machine. I backpedaled, and stumbled into the table. Then I sped forward and grabbed the sugar. His cup was half-full of sugar.

Figuring it didn’t matter if he kept the sugar because we couldn’t give it back, we went back to the table, and I lay my head back down on it. He then proceeded to suck soda from his McDonald’s cup straw and spit it into the sugar cup one mouthful at a time. Finally, he had the most disgusting “soup” I’d ever let him make.

That’s when I suddenly woke up. Like one minute I was letting him be gross because I was too tired, and the next minute I’m just fine. That’s how my sleeping disorder works. So, at least I was fine to drive, because we would have been stuck at the doctor’s office until I woke up otherwise.

In the evening, IL4 had swim lessons and M11 had Boy Scouts.

Tuesday

D13 was sick on Tuesday morning, so I had to reschedule her orthodontist appointment and take her to a COVID test. Normally I wouldn’t bother, but my dad had exposed her.

Then I took IL4 to his physical therapy intake for pooping. I hadn’t been very optimistic about it going in, but I felt really good about it when I left. She seemed confident that she could help, and gave some useful tips.

After that, I voted for school board members.

Wednesday

But that was a jump forward. Back to my time slightly after getting my MRI. I came home feeling relieved to be there for the first time all day. After about 15 minutes of chatting with the family, though, I got a call from a stranger saying dad had fallen down a hill (yes, same hill he broke 3 ribs on in late August) and thinks he broke his arm. He’d crawled up the hill with a broken arm, but didn’t know where his phone was.

I briefly looked for the phone, but dad wanted to go to the ER. I called in to work, since I didn’t know long it would take. But at least that gave me a break when I returned home at 8 for my first time to relax all day.

Thursday

Thursday was another tough day. I hadn’t slept well, so I was super tired, yet again. But I couldn’t nap because I was watching IL4. I made 2 hours’ worth of phone calls that had accumulated on my to-do list over the past few days.

Then dad, J19, and I went to the hill and found dad’s phone, followed by lunch out.

Later, I took IL4 to the poop psychologist. She seemed helpful, but I didn’t leave with new tips like from the poop PT on Tuesday. Mainly, she reinforced what PT said about sitting him on the toilet daily with his clothes on.

When I got home, dad wanted to go to urgent care because he was in “too much” pain. Dad has a very high pain tolerance, so that was worrisome. The receptionist at the urgent care pooh-poohed us, and dad got frustrated and we left.

We went out to dinner as a family, then I went straight to bed (I had called in to work the second night in a row due to dad’s shoulder pain and my exhaustion).

Friday

Friday was stressful, too. Dad woke me up at 6am and told me to call an ambulance because he was in so much pain. He said he’d taken 4 Norco (his narcotic pain med) and it still hurt. I packed up some Diet Dew and drove him to the hospital. They weren’t impressed by his use of the pain meds.

When we got into a room, they found that his oxygen was really low, and they tested him for all sorts of things to narrow down the reason. They kinda knew it was the 4 Norco, but they had to rule out other stuff. So we sat there as he was put through arm x-rays (found broken arm and potential cancer), chest x-ray (potential pneumonia or pulmonary edema as well as emphysema), CT scan (not pneumonia and no pulmonary embolism), and a bunch of blood tests (they blew out his veins twice getting this blood).

Finally, they admitted him so they could watch his oxygen. By this time, he was so confused, he didn’t remember what we came into the hospital for, and when we reminded him that it was for pain, he asked where the pain was located.

The hospitalist called me after I got home, and suggested that he might put dad into transitional care and that he would be in physical and occupational therapy – I was a little startled by this outcome, so I didn’t really ask any questions, but I assume he wants to help him not fall down and injure himself so frequently. Except, what would help with that is dad deciding not to traverse that stupid steep dirt path.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 8 postcards
• 1 letter Michigan
• 1 letter Texas

Reading to myself

• Leech, by Hinron Ennes
• Great Mythologies of the World, by various professors
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel

Reading to IL4

• Society of Substitutes Super Fun World, by Alan Katz
• Ricky Ricotta’s Mighty Robot vs the Voodoo Vultures from Venus, by Dav Pilkey
• Billy and the Mini Monsters: Monsters at Christmas

D13 reading

• Throne of Glass, by Sarah J Mass
• The Outsiders, by S E Hinton

M10 reading

• A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, by T Kingfisher

Media Completed

When the Worthys have to take Noah the evil ferret along on their vacation, things go wrong. Another cute installment of this series.

Ricky is the only one not watching TV the night the Voodoo Vultures hypnotize all the mice in Squeakyville. Lovely, colorful pictures in this fun book.

Will the monsters ruin Christmas? Cute and colorful.

News

Saturday

Saturday was stressful. It started out with having an attack of my sleeping disorder while on the weekly chat with my mother-in-law. I wasn’t really able to participate, and then when it was over I rushed straight to bed. I tried to update Aaron about his mid-day duties in case I wasn’t awake on time, but instead updated him about Sunday’s mid-day duties because I wasn’t awake.

So I was startled awake by a flurry of activity when D13 woke up late, and came hobbling upstairs as fast as her crutches could carry her. She needed a ride to the play, and was late. Because I was too tired to calculate, I told Aaron he needed to take IL4 because I needed to leave to watch the play before he got back to take over IL4 duty. IL4 doesn’t handle transition well without forewarning, so he was uncooperative. But they made it out and everything was ok.

My friend Liz and I went to the play. While on the way there, J19 called to apologize about taking our alcohol – dad had confronted him.

Anyway, M11 and D13 did great in the play. Yay. Afterwards, Liz and I went to dinner with D13 before dropping her off for her second show. (M11 went home with his mom.)

On the way to dinner, my sister Colette called to tell me dad was in the hospital with COVID. (He had been visiting with her when he became sick.) Colette and I have a rocky relationship, so talking to her is always a stressful thing to me. But the conversation went quite well. I was getting my hopes up that we’d be able to handle this situation in an amiable manner. But it didn’t finish up amiable.

Then IL4 wouldn’t go to sleep. We had forgotten to give him a med that morning, so he was jacked up. He was incredibly uncooperative. Finally, at midnight, I told him he could watch youtube on his phone while we slept. Starting about then to 2am, I received a bunch of dad’s test results in MyChart…getting a ding on my phone every time. Finally, at 2am I called to see if he had gotten worse, because some of the results were way off normal range. He was fine, so I asked IL4 if he was tired, and he willingly went to sleep.

Sunday

Sunday, I got up early and visited dad in the hospital for a few hours. Then I picked up M11 at his mom’s house. Later in the afternoon, M11 and D13 had a play. I stayed with IL4 while Aaron attended the play. When they got home from the play, we watched a couple episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and then went to bed.

Monday

Monday I woke with a headache and thought “Oh no, I have COVID,” but it was gone with a bit of Tylenol. Then I took IL4 and D13 to D13’s appointment. J19 made IL4 a waffle when we got back (that was sweet of him). Then I dropped IL4 at school and ran some errands. Afterwards, I dropped by to see dad at the hospital while Aaron took IL4 to swim lessons. Dad was supposed to be released earlier that day because he’s recovered, but he had atrial fibrillation so they held him another night.

I told J19 that he would need to be out of IL4’s room by November 10 so we can start repainting and rearranging the room in hopes of enticing IL4 to sleep in his own bed. I’d like to replace the Venetian blinds with curtains, but I can’t find ones that I like yet.

Tuesday

So dad’s last night in the hospital was awful. He had a heart monitor on, but was sleeping restlessly, so the wires kept coming detached. Then the nurse repeatedly woke him up to put the wires back on. The last time, she accused him of pulling them out on purpose. (I don’t know what tone she used, but even jokingly saying that to a grumpy old man who keeps being awakened in the middle of the night is bad bedside manner.) So he peevishly knocked off the “trash” she dropped on his bed while trying to get his wires attached. She called him rude, and he got up and stomped up and down the hallway – which he can’t do because of the covid. So they called the hospital cops on him. He went back to his room, but couldn’t sleep after that.

I had been called off work that day, so I headed over to calm him down. I was there for 4 hours, and he seemed better when I left. He had an echocardiogram while I was there, and they determined that his heart isn’t pumping enough volume, and they want to monitor it. The doctor said they wanted to make an appointment with the cardiologist.

I asked “Can I make the appointment so it fits in my schedule?” The doc answered: have the nurse call the social worker and she can make it with you in the room. So I told the nurse “Please call the social worker. I’d like them to be with me when they make the appointment because I need it to be in B– and at a time I can take him. (We were currently much farther away from home in E– because it was closer to my sister’s house, which is where he was when he got sick.)

The nurse brought me the number to call myself, so I called the cardiologist, only to be told an appointment had just been made by the social worker. It was on an inconvenient day in E–. 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, good news is that dad was released! He has a heart monitor. We’ll see how long that stays on him before he gets frustrated and takes it off. Colette took him back to her place, so he doesn’t expose my kids. At least, that’s the reason he gave. In reality, I think sometimes he needs a break from the noisiness of our house.

In the evening, we watched Episode 1 of Star Wars – half before trick-or-treating and half after. IL4 was a creeper from Minecraft. He had no peripheral vision and very little straight ahead vision. He fell over several times, and then finally gave up on the mask. M11 was Scorbunny from Pokemon. He couldn’t fit a jacket on under his costume like IL4, so he was very cold. And D13 couldn’t trick-or-treat on the ice with crutches. So she handed out candy. Regardless of all these obstacles, the all loved Halloween and were thrilled with the candy.

Wednesday

Wednesday, I took D13 in for her MRI on her knee. Admittedly, I hadn’t thought anything was wrong other than being bruised or sprained from a fall. But it turns out her kneecap had popped out of socket, bruising the tissue and ripping a tiny piece of cartilage off. She’s been assigned PT to help reduce the chance of it happening again.

In the evening, D13 and M11 had a refresher rehearsal before their final weekend.

Thursday

Thursday I worked, so not much happened during the day. Dad came home. All three kids had parent-teacher conferences, and all three of them are doing great. The older kids have mostly A’s. IL4 is making progress on his IEP goals.

Friday

Friday, after taking IL4 to speech therapy, I took J19 to urgent care. While there, I popped by the orthopedic walk-in to talk to them about the fact that my tailbone still hurts a year after the car accident. The doctor said he didn’t understand why my butt still hurt, nor how the car accident hurt it to begin with. He said physical therapy was unlikely to help, but that he wanted an MRI on Wednesday to see if there was “something else” going on. I had to cancel one appointment and reschedule another to get the MRI scheduled, but they were both easy to deal with – if it had been one of those specialist appointments that are hard to schedule, I wouldn’t have done it.

In the evening, D13 had her play, and M11, Aaron, and I watched a few episodes of Good Omens.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Texas
• 1 letter Massachusetts

Reading to myself

• Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
• Leech, by Hiron Ennes
• Great Mythologies of the World, by various
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible
• Great Courses St Augustine’s Confessions by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
• Mahabharata

Reading to IL4

• Stinky Cecil in Terrarium Terror, by Paige Braddock
• Peanut Butter and Jelly, by Ben Clanton

M10 reading

• A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T Kingfisher

D13 reading

• Throne of Glass, by Sarah J Mass

Media Completed

When Cecil is toadnapped by a classroom of kids, his friends must rescue him. Fun, cute graphic novel for younger kids.

Narwhal realizes peanut better is even better than waffles. Cut, funny, fun.

This is an adorable pop up book about feelings.

A book about what kindness is. Cute.

Sethe and her daughter Denver live a lonely life, haunted by Sethe’s dead baby’s ghost. But then two people join their family. One is a fellow runaway slave, and the other is a mysterious woman named Beloved. This is a haunting story of recovery.

Spoilers abound below.

These questions are adapted from Susan Bauer’s Well-Educated Mind, Chapter 5.

✏️Is this Novel a fable or a chronicle?

This story is somewhere between a chronicle and a fable. It takes place in our universe, but has supernatural elements.

🖍️How does the writer show us reality (if chronicle)?

This book had mostly psychological rather than physical details to show reality. The emotional torture of Sethe’s memories, and the fear of loss with Denver.

🖍️What is the intent of the world (if fantastic)?

When answering this question, I’m supposed to think about whether the fantastic elements are allegory or speculation. Now, I know it has to be allegorical, if one of those, but I don’t understand what the allegory is if there is one. One of the overarching themes is the dehumanization of African American people both as slaves and as free people. Another theme is the relationship between a mother and her children in African American culture of the time. And the ghost, which is the fantastic element, is part of both of those themes. The murder of Sethe’s baby is both dehumanizing and horrifically humanizing at the same time. Sethe feels it is her motherly duty to save the baby from slavery. The ghost is a reminder to Sethe of this moment, as well as the horror of slavery and what she was trying to save Beloved from.

🖍️Is the novel primarily realistic with a few fantastic elements?

Yes

✏️What does the central character want? What is standing in their way? What strategy do they pursue to overcome this block?

Sethe, the central character, wants to love her children with every fiber of her being. But she can’t do this for Beloved, who is violently taken away – until she comes back to claim more love than is healthy for Sethe to give. She can’t do this for Denver, because Sethe is distracted by the ghost as well as by Paul D (i.e. her past). She can’t with her boys, because they ran away. She was unable to overcome this block – the ghost took all she had.

✏️Who is telling this story?

The story is narrated by an omniscient storyteller which mainly focuses on the actions and thoughts of Sethe and Paul D, but also on Denver, Beloved, and a bit character to a lesser extent.

✏️Where is the story set? How does this setting convey the character’s relationship to the world?

The story is set almost entirely in Sethe’s house, with some references to the place she was a slave and very few references to other places. This accentuates the loneliness and isolation of Sethe and Denver.

✏️What style does the writer employ?

Beloved is poetic in style, despite technically being prose. It’s full of symbols and lyricism. Words are beautifully chosen for meaning and sound.

✏️What are the images, metaphors, and allegory?

I already discussed what allegory I could see. As for images, mother’s milk repeatedly shows up, meaning mother’s love.

✏️Do you sympathize with the characters? Which ones and why?

I have a strong sympathy for Sethe and Denver. Obviously, I don’t know what it feels like to escape slavery, but I can visualize the horrors at some level. I also don’t understand what it feels like to grow up alone with a murderer for a mom, but I feel bad about how her life was lived.

✏️Does the writer’s technique give you a clue as to her take on the human condition?

It definitely gives an idea on her feelings about slavery and how an escaped slave would feel about white people.

✏️Is the novel self-reflective?

Yes, in the sense that it connects her to her slave ancestors.

✏️Did the author’s time affect her?

Yes. Books written about the evils of slavery are much different that those written around the time of abolition. For instance, it is easier for a person of slave ancestry to write a book, both because of education opportunities and because of the audience reception.

✏️Is there an argument in this book? Do I agree?

I don’t really think so.

News

Saturday

On Saturday I worked for a while. Then I was supposed to go to Feed My Starving Children with M11, but I was super tired, and it turned out that M11 wanted to go with his dad anyway. I dealt with some slight jealosy that he didn’t want to go with me, but mostly I was relieved.

After FMSC, M11, Aaron, and I watched a few episodes of Good Omens Season 2.

Sunday

Sunday started with taking my dad to Mass for the first time in a long time. J19 walked around looking for applications to jobs in the area – which kind of suggests he plans on staying longer than just the weekend. I’d rather he didn’t stay longer, as he’s already drunk half a bottle of our Fireball, forcing us to hide our alcohol in our room. Plus, IL4 will want to go in his room since all his toys are in there. But I also don’t want to kick J19 out because he’s been combo couch surfing and sleeping on the streets for over a year.

I decided to ask on the Facebook page for my suburb where was a good place to apply, and mentioned that he was walking around looking for one. Most people answered helpfully, but one said he was lying if he said he was walking around looking for applications because they’re all online. I told her politely that he wasn’t lying, he just didn’t know what he was doing. A couple people came on and said the commenter should be nice. She came back and apologized if she was wrong about the paper applications. I answered that I wouldn’t let her narrow and negative assumption cheapen his attempts at getting on his feet, but if she’s sorry, she should be more cautious about what she says in the future. Then I got scolded for not accepting her apology, even though she didn’t actually apologize for accusing him of lying. People on the internet!

Later, I took J19 to Urgent Care for a non-urgent matter. But he had been planning on walking 4 miles to a bus stop and taking a 2 hour bus ride  to the ER downtown for this non-urgent matter.

Afterwards, D13, M11, IL4, Aaron and I carved pumpkins. J19 was excited to do so, too, but then wandered off and didn’t carve his. His loss. 🤷‍♀️

We watched some Grey’s Anatomy, and then I went to bed early because I’d had a headache all day.

Monday

Monday started with breakfast with IL4 and dad as well as a trip to the pet store. I got IL4 a cat toy to call his own since D13 has claimed the two cat toys Polyphemus came with and only lets IL4 play with them under her watchful eye.

After dropping IL4 off at school, I took M11 to the dentist to get his cavity filled. He says he’ll brush his teeth from now on. That resolution probably didn’t even last till that evening, but it was nice to hear.

After dropping D13 off at dress rehearsal, I took IL4 to his first swim lesson in the big pool. He was reluctant to get in the big pool – not sure why, since he’ll get in a pool with me or Aaron – but maybe because he’s with a few other students and one teacher?

Tuesday

Tuesday IL4 had an appointment with his GI specialist. Aaron joined me, because he (like me) was getting frustrated by mixed messages. The specialist said that the tortuous intestines weren’t a permanent problem, that they’d hopefully clear up when he stopped withholding. So psychology was what we should focus on now (besides the regular cleanings, which will also hopefully be unnecessary when he stops withholding).

D13 also had an appointment later in the day. Then D13 and M11 had dress rehearsal in the evening.

Wednesday

Wednesday I got a bunch of cleaning done because an appointment was cancelled in the morning. In the afternoon, IL4 had feeding therapy. He was absolutely refusing to go in to the office – he threw a temper tantrum on the sidewalk outside – but I told him he didn’t have to eat any of the food in the lunch box, and he grudgingly went in. He sure didn’t eat anything from the lunch box.

I then took a nice walk and brought D13 to rehearsal. Aaron took M11 and IL4 to get their hair cut, and now they both look handsome and sophisticated.

Thursday

Thursday I worked most if the day. In the evening D13 and M11 had rehearsal. It was the last rehearsal before the play. But D13’s knee buckled and she fell and is now in pain.

Friday

Friday after work I took IL4 to speech therapy while Aaron took D13 to urgent care for her knee. IL4 didn’t want to go to speech therapy and threw a massive temper tantrum. I managed to pull the kicking and screaming child into the atrium between outside door and inside door. Is that a thing in warm places? Places have a heated atrium area so that cold air doesn’t blow into the office whenever the outside door is open? Anyway, I got him in the atrium because neither of us was dressed for 35F degree weather. Then I tried to talk sense into him as he rushed me trying to get out the door. Finally, I let him exit.

He continued his temper tantrum outside, now running around in tight circles on the sidewalk. Finally, the receptionist walked out and asked if I wanted her to go get the therapist. She did, and Jill, the therapist, calmed him down by saying they could go to the OT gym.

D13’s visit yielded more action than I expected, too. I figured she’d be glanced at and sent away with RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) instructions. Maybe an X-ray. Well, they did the X-ray, and decided there was some “fluid in the knee” (no, I wasn’t there to ask what that means). So then they needed an MRI, but our insurance needed to pre-authorize that so it’s not scheduled yet. She’s proud of her crutches though.

In the late afternoon, IL4 had a trunk or treat at his daycare, which he really loved despite the cold. He loved handing out the candy just as much as getting it.

In the evening, D13 had her first performance. (M11 is “part time,” so he’s only in half the performances. His first is tomorrow afternoon.) They had to make some minor changes to her on-stage time so that she didn’t have as much walking. She took not being in the combat scene pretty well. She had been really excited about the combat.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Virginia
• 2 letters Maine
• 1 letter Pennsylvania

Reading to myself

• Beloved, by Toni Morrison
• School of Fear, Gitty Daneshvari
• Great Mythologies of the World, by various professors
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe
• Bible

Reading to IL4

• Inspector Flytrap, by Tom Angleberger
• The Candy Caper, by Tom Watson

D13 reading

• Throne of Glass, by Sarah J Maas

Media Completed

Sethe and her daughter Denver live a lonely life, haunted by Sethe’s dead baby’s ghost. But then two people join their family. One is a fellow runaway slave, and the other is a mysterious woman named Beloved. This is a haunting story of recovery.

Theo is afraid of dying. Lulu is afraid of confined spaces. Garrison is afraid of bodies of water. Madeline is afraid of bugs. They meet at the School of Fear, taught by an eccentric recluse. This book was both cute and funny. I loved it, though I found the basic idea (not the details) of the ending predictable.

Some major shark jumping in this season, and it’s only season 2.

When Mollie must find out the number of Skittles in Principal Shelton’s candy jar, her friends Simon and Rosie help her come up with a plan to help her count them. This is a cute little chapter book about embracing your differences and being you.

Weight Loss

I’ve plateaued two months in a row, so I need to add something to my weight loss efforts. I’m going to start counting calories again. I will continue to increase my weekly step goal (I’m currently pulling off 40k per week, and am trying to increase by 5k per month.) I will also add in a 15 minute body weight exercise daily. My bariatric physical therapist said I needed 30 minutes two times daily, but I didn’t try very hard at the time because I couldn’t move from 0 to 60 overnight, and she made me feel guilty about only moving up to 60 minutes 3 times a week. Anyway, (I’m apparently still bitter about her motivation-shaming.) Anyway, I thought 15 minutes daily for a month would be a good start.

News

Saturday

Saturday was fun. After D13 got her COVID shot, we all went to a fall festival for the day. It was a lot more expensive than the last time we went, and I blew my entire fun budget on it. It’ll take months to save up that much money again. Regardless, the kids had a blast. There was a gigantic potato sack slide, camel rides, a corn pit, a corn maze, a zipline, pumpkin cannons, and a bouncy house.

After all that, Aaron, dad, IL4 and I had dinner out.

Sunday

Sunday after work I took IL4 and to a McDonald’s Playplace for a playdate with his friend L4. M11 came along because he’s grounded and he had been busy reading all day. He wanted a change of scenery.

I really like L4’s mom. She isn’t head of the PTO, cub scout master, girl scout leader, perfectly -clean-homed mom. She’s real.

The playdate ended abruptly when IL4 pooped himself. And I had wipes and a change of shirts, but not pants and underwear because I’d used my spare on another day and forgot to replace them. So he went home commando in wet pants. 🤦‍♀️

That evening, I read to M11 and D13, and then I read to IL4.

Monday

Monday morning I had to scrape the frost off the car windows. Yuck. I took D13 to her appointment, and then took IL4 to get a scan of his gut to check for anatomical abnormality. They said they didn’t see anything obvious at a quick glance, but the final results were not immediately released. In the evening, I read to D13 and then to IL4.

Tuesday

Tuesday was awful. I had to leave work an hour early to go to a 6 hour training. It was pure listening, with 2 5 minute breaks and no lunch break. In case you don’t know, I have ADHD. By 3.5 hours in, I was literally shaking with the effort of listening. I had to take my highest dose of anxiety meds to try to allieve the shaking, but it didn’t help.

By the time I got home, my brain was fried. But the M11 was crying because of an unresolved argument about whose turn it was on the TV. I just needed a break, but IL4 wanted to bake a cake with 2 pieces of bread, an apple, some peanut butter, and the ketchup. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I hid in the bathroom and tried not to cry while Aaron took over.

In the evening, I read to D13, and then started reading to IL4 before petering out and taking a nap before leaving for work at 9:30.

Wednesday

Wednesday I went to Perkins with my dad, and then to the mall. He bought shoes and a Nook (the Barnes and Noble tablet). He wants to read books again, but his eyesight isn’t good enough for normal print.

The results to IL4’s scan came back. It said there were no anatomical abnormalities, but that his tortuous intestines explained the fecal loading, and that he had mild fecal loading at the time of the scan. So, I guess that at least suggests that the GI specialist isn’t full of poop, even if IL4 is. (Both Aaron and I were seperately wondering whether the GI specialist didn’t know what she was talking about, but I had already convinced myself that she probably did. Aaron needed some reassurance, though.)

Thursday

Thursday I took M11 to his dietician. She set his goal weight (he needs to gain 5 pounds). Then I just did my own thing for the rest of the day – and by that I mean I went through my to-do list to my heart’s content, not being interrupted by other people wanting me to do stuff. It was glorious. I went out to lunch with Aaron, and dad took us out to dinner while D13 was at rehearsal.

Friday

Friday, I took M11 to Historic Fort Snelling. He really loved all the history. I hadn’t known Dred Scott lived at Fort Snelling, so there were some things I learned too.

D13 went to see her mom in the evening. While M11 was at rehearsal, my nephew J19 came over. He is currently homeless, and is going to stay at our house a couple of days. We all had a lovely dinner once M11 was back.

Week’s Photos

Reading to myself

• Beloved, by Toni Morrison
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible
• Great Courses: St Augustine’s Confessions, by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
• Eye of the World, by Robert Jordon
• Run, Hide, Repeat, by Pauline Dakin
• Great Courses St Augustine’s Confessions, by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
• Great Mythologies of the World, by Various Professors

Reading to IL4

• Sydney and Taylor Explore the Whole Wide World, by Jacqueline Davies
• Inspector Flytrap, by Tom Angleberger
• The Invisible Fran, by Jim Benton

M10 reading

• The Keeper of Night, by Kylie Lee Baker (I’m reading this to him)
• A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, by T Kingfisher
• Zombies vs Unicorns by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (I’m listening with him)

D13 reading

• The Akhenaten Adventure, by P B Kerr
• Exile, by Shannon Messenger (I’m reading this to her)

Media Completed

Sydney and Taylor decide to go on an expedition but find that it’s hard being out in the wild. This was a cute early chapter book with wonderful pictures.

Franny wants badly for her friends to be mad scientists, too. But they aren’t cooperating. Definitely a cute addition to the series.

News

Saturday

Saturday was a fun day. After some errands in the morning, I played D&D for 4 hours (though it was all role-playing, no combat…poor Aaron). After that, Aaron and I went out for my birthday gift: Mexican food and a comedy club.

Sunday

Sunday I worked, then we all went out to dinner.

Monday

Monday I took D13 to her weekly appointment, and then took dad to his neurology appointment. The ER doctor had made it sound like they’d found something bad on his CT scan when he fell back in August. They told us to make a neurologist appointment ASAP. The first one wasn’t available till October. But the neurologist poo-poohed the whole finding, using more words than necessary, and off we went.

Aaron spent the morning trimming willows near a lake for his work’s service day.

I had a really proud moment for IL4 that evening. The family does “most and least heinous parts of the day” at dinner, and IL4 participated for the first time ever. Apparently “the tree” was the most heinous and school was the least heinous. I wonder what happened with a tree, though.

In the evening when I was reading to IL4, I told him what a nice bonding experience reading together was, and that I wished the older kids wanted me to read to them. They heard – and now I need to find time to read to the older kids. Not that I mind reading to them – that part is fun – but when?

Tuesday

Tuesday after work, I took a 3 hour walk with dad. I pushed him pretty hard, but he made it. Then I took D13 to an appointment. In the evening, my friend Liz came over and we watched a couple episodes of Doctor Who. Finally, I read to D13 and then to IL4. I was interrupted half-way through the book by a call from dad, who’d missed the last bus home. Luckily, he was only 10 minutes away, so I was able to hop in the car and fetch him before work started again.

Wednesday

Wednesday after work, I went to my second job, then to have dinner with a former client. Afterwards, I read to M11 (D13 listened in, too).

Thursday

Thursday after working two jobs, I drove D13 to rehearsal (combat training started!) and watched Supernatural with Aaron.

Friday

Friday, I took IL4 to speech therapy. We had been going to have bacon and pancakes afterwards, but he fell asleep in the car on the way home, so I sat in the car with him for a couple of hours. Then, we went to feeding therapy.

M11 had rehearsal in the evening, and D13, IL4, Aaron and I watched some X-Files. When M11 came home, we all watched an episode of Umbrella Academy. Then I read to D13, then to IL4.

Letters Written

• 1 letter Massachusetts
• 1 letter Maryland
• 1 letter Texas

Reading to myself

• Beloved, by Toni Morrison
• Run, Hide, Repeat, by Laura Dakin
• Bible
• St Augustine’s Confessions by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
• Mahabharata
• Dragons and Marshmallows, by Asia Citro
• Great Mythologies of the World

Reading to IL4

• Warm Hearts Day, by Rebecca Elliot
• Super Rabbit All-Stars, by Thomas Flintham
• Dark Shadows, by Doreen Cronin
• Super Rabbit Boy’s Time-Jump, by Thomas Flintham
• Bad Guys in Alien vs Bad Guys, by Aaron Blabey
• Clash of the Cackling Cougars, by David Bowles

M10 reading

• Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, by T Kingfisher
• Dragonwatch, by Brandon Mull (read to him by me)

D13 reading

• The Book Eaters, by Sunyi Dean
• Exile, by Shannon Messenger (read to her by me)

Media Completed

We saw Jason Banks at Rick Bronson House of Comedy. He was pretty good. He showed a Tiktok video at the end which was funnier than the rest, so I’m guessing he’s better at Tiktok than standup. But his stand-up was pretty good all the same.

Eva celebrates Warm Heats Day with her city of owls and a few other animals. Cute.

The feisty little chicks are at it again – this time while visiting family on a farm. When their jelly beans go missing, they are up for adventure. This may be my favorite one so far.

Zoey discovers that magical creatures exist, and that she needs to help take care of them when they’re sick. Cute story. Didn’t read it to IL4 – it was a little too advanced for that. I’d say it was 3rd grade level.

In this hilarious continuation, the Bad Guys are fighting a nasty alien who’s trying to take over the world. Very fun.

Malia, Ivan, and Dante are out skiing when, once again, they are transported to 13th street. This time, they have to deal with cougars who tell dad jokes. This book was cute, like the first two. Its focus was to thicken the plot.