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Saturday

Saturday, I meant to take D13 to our local amusement park, but after driving out there, we discovered that our passes didn’t work on Saturdays. Probably for the best, because my sleeping disorder was acting up, and I desperately needed a nap.

Later, Aaron and I went out to dinner and axe throwing with a friend. Followed by a couple episodes of X-Files with D13.

Sunday

Sunday I worked in the morning, and then we had family day. M11 chose Super Mario Game of Life (which, despite its name has no resemblance to the Game of Life except the appearance of the spinner). Then we watched a couple episodes of Psych.

Monday

Monday was one of those days for me where everything felt bigger and badder than it was. It started well enough with an IEP meeting for D13. We decided to leave things the way they are for now. Then I took M11 to his eating disorder doctor (with IL4 tagging along). M11 was a champ at getting his blood drawn!

But that’s when the dark cloud descended on my mood. I took M11 to his dentist appointment (with IL4 tagging along). M11 had one cavity, one crater that would soon be a cavity, and apparently looked like he never brushed his teeth. When asked, he claimed to brush his teeth when I tell him to, but I only manage that somewhere between 50-75% of the time. The rest of that time, he sneaks downstairs while I’m distracted by IL4, and I don’t find it easy to leave IL4 during bedtime routine, so I can’t follow M11 and tell him to brush.

Telling him to brush is a 15-20 minute process in which he doesn’t move for at least 5 minutes, finally enters the bathroom upon repeated frustrated prompting, uses the toilet and tiptoes out pretending he’s “forgotten,” reenters the bathroom IF I catch him, noisily plays with any tub toy IL4’s left lying around, then finally (ineffectively apparently) brushes his teeth.

So you can understand my frustration to hear about the state of his mouth. With all the effort I put in to get him to stand in the bathroom with his toothbrush motor running, I’m no longer sure that noise means he’s brushing. The tech told me to watch him brush his teeth and re-teach him. But what good is that, if the problem is that he’s not actually brushing?

Anyway, this issue, which should have been moderately frustrating, was infuriating in my darkened mood. I scolded him long and harsh. Then I dropped him off at school, dropped IL4 off at school, and went to the clinic to get my blood drawn.

That gave me a good while to stew in my shame and become equally infuriated at myself as I was with M11. Upon arriving home, I decided to calm myself with a relaxing bath. I spent the entire bath making phone calls, sending emails, and generally trying to figure out what IL4’s GI specialist is telling me to do.

Because, oh-did-I-mention, IL4 has fecal loading again? Does that mean he’s impacted again, you ask? Or is fecal loading the predecessor of impaction? Darned if I know. All I know (after a bit of listening and relistening to a voicemail from the nurse and sending emails to the doctor) is that I need to cleanse his colon with 4 caps of Miralax a day for 1-2 days  every 3-4 weeks, give him a stool to prop up his legs while pooping (IF I can get him to sit on the toilet to poop – something I’ve accomplished a grand total of 3 times in the last year because he’s afraid to poop), and the doctor will refer me to a poop psychologist and order a GI image because this may be an anatomical problem.

I emerged from the bath less infuriated and more confused. M11 returned from school shortly afterwards, and I bit down my nasty mood to apologize for being so hard on him earlier. He asked me, quite seriously, “when do you mean? …. oh, that! That wasn’t that bad.” (Yes it was. But whatever.)

The day went downhill from there, as everyone kept talking to me. It was terrible.

Tuesday

Tuesday was a lovely day. Aaron took the day off so we could spend it together. We ran to Target, went out to lunch, and watched an episode of Supernatural. Dad got his covid shot, then the whole family went out to eat.

Wednesday

Wednesday was my birthday, but we did all the celebrations on Tuesday. After work in the morning, I went to a wellness visit with my doctor, followed by a walk to the store to buy a few items. Then I took D13 to her dentist appointment (her teeth look good), followed by some yardwork. I was using shears to trim a bush down to a more reasonable height when I cut right through the flesh on my pinky finger. Oops. It was mildly deep, but could be contained with some neosporin and a bandaid.

In the evening, IL4 had a “family night” at his preschool, but he fell asleep immediately before it. So we left him at home, and Aaron and I popped by to talk with his teacher. He has a bag in which he’s supposed to put an item beginning with “A.” All we could think of (that wasn’t food) was some tiny axolotls that M11 happened to have for a previous project. Apparently his teacher doesn’t know what an axolotl is, though, and who knows if the other kids know what one is, but IL4 knows.

Thursday

Thursday was pretty relaxed. After work I went to my second job. And then I took D13 to her play rehearsal.

Friday

Friday after speech therapy, I did what will apparently be one of many bowel cleanouts for IL4. I also watched “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” with D13 and M11.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Washington
• 1 letter Morocco
• 1 letter Massachusetts

Reading to myself

• Akata Witch, by Nnedi Okorafor
• The Cat Who Could Read Backwards, by Lillian Jackson Braun
• Great Mythologies of the World, by Various Professors
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel

Reading to IL4

• Super Rabbit Boy vs Super Rabbit Boss, by Thomas Flintham
• Super King Viking Land, by Thoms Flintham
• Henry Heckelbeck Spells Trouble, by Wanda Coven

M10 reading

• A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, by T Kingfisher

D13 reading

• Book Eaters, Sunyi Dean

Aaron reading

• Burning Gods, by R F Kuang

Media Completed

Henry is in trouble again when the school has a spelling bee. He gets out of trouble in his own magical way. This is a cute read and my son seemed to enjoy it.

This is still a good show, but there were some really bad decisions (and unlike the characters) made in the last few episodes.

Sunny is an albino free agent – a Nigerian witch who grew up with the lambs (non-magical people). She is convinced she must stop an oncoming apocalypse.

This is an excellent follow-up to Akata Witch. In fact, I liked it even more than the first book, because I’m a sucker for action.

This is a 1991 movie about 5 kids who learn a valuable lesson when they try to make it on their own after their babysitter dies. It was hilarious to see pre-X-Files David Duchovny. The movie seriously lacked verisimilitude, but it was amusing.

Games Played

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Saturday

Saturday was a relaxing day. Aaron and I played D&D for a good chunk of it. I also signed up for a play-by-post campaign and was going through the information before starting playing. In the evening, Aaron, dad, and I watched The Witches of Eastwick and then a Trevor Noah stand-up comedy show.

Sunday

Sunday I worked for several hours, Aaron made chili, and then we watched Grey’s Anatomy as a family.

Monday

Monday went well. It started off with a trip to IL4’s new dentist. He has had a lot of trouble with our family dentist in the past, so I thought I’d try a pediatric dentist. It was a success! He was shy to get on the chair, but because they had it lying down with a TV on the ceiling, it didn’t look (to him) as if he were going to get “a shot” (as he calls getting his blood drawn).

After that, I took D13 to her appointment. At least I thought I had. But really, I took her out of class and to the clinic, where she went in while I ran to McDonald’s quickly with IL4. But apparently there was no appointment, so when I arrived back 15 minutes later, she ran out to the car to tell me. Oh well. 🤷‍♀️

After dropping IL4 off at preschool, dad and I ran some errands. Then I cooked some au gratin potatoes (which turned out delicious, but next time I’ll double the amount of sauce. D13 wouldn’t eat them because they “taste like potatoes,” and obviously M11 and IL4 didn’t even put try them. I tried to explain that french fries taste of potato, too, but apparently fries are “seasoned.” (Does she mean the overwhelming salt taste of fast food fries, because there was seasoning on my au gratin potatoes?)

Tuesday

Tuesday after work in the morning, I went to get new tires (mine were dangerously bald). I went to Perkins with dad, and then took him to a doctor’s appointment. M11 worked on his 3 missing assignments, and had very little time for fun in the evening. ☹️ I wish I could help him be better at completing them in class. This is likely his ADHD.

Wednesday

Wednesday I worked all day because no one had appointments. Then we ordered pizza and watched Grey’s Anatomy as a family.

Thursday

Thursday I worked all day. Then D13 had her first play rehearsal. IL4 had a 1.5 hour temper tantrum. He wanted Mob Pets (a Minecraft mod) on his phone, and that wasn’t happening.

Friday

Friday was calm. There were no appointments, but it was pouring rain, so we couldn’t go to the park. At the end of the day, M11 went to rehearsal. Aaron, D13, and I watched Coming to America, then D13 and I watched an episode of His Dark Materials.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Maine
• 1 letter Michigan

Reading to myself

• Akata Warrior by Nnedi Okorafor
• The Cat Who Could Read Backwards, by Lilian Jackson Braun
• Run, Hid, Repeat, by Pauline Dakin
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible
• St Augustine’s Confessions (Great Courses), by William R Cook and Ronald B Herzman
• Mahabharata

Reading to IL4

• Monsters in the Dark, by Zana Davidson
• Super Cheat Codes and Secret Modes, by Thomas Flintham
• NoGame Over, Super Rabbit Boy, by Thomas Flintham

D13 reading

• Maleficent Seven by Cameron Johnston

Media Completed

Alexandria, Jane, and Sukie are bored of life. Then comes Daryl, who livens up their lives with a bit of magical seduction. However, things quickly turn dark. I’m not sure what to make of this movie. It was certainly quite strange. Pretty naughty. I bet the book would make more sense.

A good deal of these jokes were pandemic-related.

Billy is afraid of the dark. But then he finds out monsters are real. This was a cute story with great colorful pictures.

When Poppy becomes a pirate dog, she really wants to find a boat that fits her new status. Cute, but nothing amazing.

I just realized belatedly that we finished Series 6 of Doctor Who. I liked the River Song plot, but was starting to get tired of the Ponds by the end of it. I liked them at first, but I guess they became too much.

This movie is just as hilarious now as it was in the ’90s.

Weight Loss

X – 45 (no weight loss this month ☹️)

News

Saturday

Saturday Aaron, IL4, and I rested after the long few days in the hospital. I got a few tasks done around the house, but mainly relaxed. I watched Baby Mama with D13 and Aaron joined us for Always Be My Maybe.

Sunday

Sunday was a fun family day. After I got home from work, we played charades (which is something IL4 can do) and then watched Grey’s Anatomy.

Monday

Monday D13 had an appointment. I ran some errands with dad. I forgot to send IL4’s backpack to school, but he assures me that he still loves me.

Tuesday

On Tuesday, D13 had an appointment, and then I got my oil changed.

Wednesday

Wednesday I managed to squeeze in an appointment for M11 after work AND a day-job shift on the same day. That’s a rare squeeze. And much needed money after missing 3 nights of work due to dad’s ER visit and IL4’s hospital stay.

On a low note, D13’s cold got worse, and she asked to be tested for COVID. I dug around the closet and found a lone COVID test hanging around. It came up positive. 🤦‍♀️ If people would just stop testing, fewer would come up positive, right? 😝

Thursday

Thursday I took D13 to get a COVID test at a clinic because I was a little skeptical of her at home results. Good thing I did, because it was negative.

Friday

Friday M11 was home sick. I had cancelled all of IL4’s appointments because they were both ones where he couldn’t wear a mask, and I thought both D13 and M11 had COVID. In the evening, Aaron, dad, and I watched Curse of Bridge Hollow.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Virginia

Reading to myself

• Emperor of Nihon-Ja, by John Flanagan
• Mahabharata
• Great Mythologies of the World, by Various Professors
• Run, Hide, Repeat, by Pauline Dakin

Reading to IL4

• Super Rabbit Boy Blasts Off!, by Thomas Flintham
• Super Rabbit Boy’s Time Jump, by Thomas Flintham
• Super Fly Rise of the Evil Army, by Todd H Doodler

M10 reading

• A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, by Ursula Vernon

D13 reading

• The Maleficent Seven, by Cameron Johnston

Aaron reading

• Mort, by Terry Pratchett

Media Completed

Kate really wants a baby. When she finds out her uterus isn’t suited to implantation, she decides to use a surrogate. However, the woman who carries her baby is her polar opposite. This was a silly movie, but had several funny moments. I was displeased at a scene with alcohol in retrospect, and I think it should have been either different or left out, because in hindsight it wasn’t very funny.

Sasha and Marcus were best friends as kids, each holding a secret crush for the other. But they have a falling out when they’re 18, and don’t talk for 15 years. When they meet again, sparks fly. This was a very cute and fairly funny movie that has a priceless cameo appearance of a famous actor.

This is the final book in The Ranger’s Apprentice, a middle grade book in a realistic but fictional middle-ages world. It was a good series, though I think a little too long for the overall plot. They were a series of mostly disconnected stories (there were a couple that were direct continuations of the previous book). I’m glad I read the series, and am glad I reached the final book. There is a spin-off series that I don’t intend on reading.

In this final book of the Super Fly series, Crazy Cockroach makes another attempt to take over the world. This time, he uses a mind-controlling juice. Super Fly, Fantastic Flea, and Fly Girl have difficulty solving this riddle. Like the other books in the series, it was cute and funny. Written to be read by a second grader, but enjoyed by my preschooler.

When 14-year-old Sydney’s family moves to a sleepy little town, she and her Halloween-hating dad have to fight off a bunch of possessed decorations. Cute family movie that worked for entertainment in a pinch.

Games Played

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Saturday

Saturday was fun. Aaron and I played D&D. We managed to un-undead one of our party members, disperse a couple of water elementals, and sail to a new city. Then Aaron and I had a date at a cute little tavern within walking distance. Dad and D13 sat and watched Season 2 of Stranger Things. (Dad’s apparently quite the binge-watcher. Who knew?)

Sunday

Sunday was an easy day. Aaron picked up M11 from his mom’s. IL4 was asleep, so didn’t go to swim lessons. When I got home from work, the family watched Grey’s Anatomy.

Monday

Monday was an uneventful but productive day. D13 had an appointment and I completed some housework once I dropped her back off at school.

Tuesday

Tuesday I took D13 to a specialist for her worrisome health problem, and they told us it was nothing to worry about. Yay! In the evening, my friend Liz came over and we cross-stitched and watched Doctor Who. I didn’t get a lot of cross-stitch done, as IL4 was working on a craft project and repeatedly asked for my help.

Wednesday

Wednesday I took IL4 to the hospital for his scheduled admission. It was a long day. Even though we arrived at 10am, there were just a bunch of putzy things to do before treatment started at 3pm. They inserted a tube up IL4’s nose to drip some very concentrated miralax down his throat.  They expected him to poop, but, alas, when I left at 8pm, there was still no sign of breaking the seal. Aaron was with him overnight.

Thursday

Thursday, I came directly to the hospital from work. There was some hope that he might get released that day, but his bowels disagreed. It was a long day.

Friday

Friday, IL4 was released! His gut is (in theory) clear! Now we just need to keep it clear. We all went out to dinner to celebrate. D13 and M11 picked up their scripts. D13 has two lines and M11 has three.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Maine
• 1 letter Washington
• 1 letter Maryland
• 1 letter Pennsylvania
• 1 letter Texas

Reading to myself

• Emperor of Nihon-Ja, by John Flannagan
• Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari
• The Hangman’s Daughter, by Oliver Potzsch

Reading to IL4

• Unicorn and Yeti: Together!, by Heather Ayris Burnell
• Robo-Rabbit Boy Go!, by Thomas Flintham
• Super Rabbit Boy Powers Up, by Thomas Flintham
• Super Rabbit Racers!, by Thomas Flintham

D13 reading

• The Maleficent Seven, by Cameron Johnston

Aaron reading

• Mort, by Terry Pratchett

Media Completed

My displeasure with this book began on page 49 of the paperback, when I read this quote:

When agriculture and industry came along people could increasingly rely on the skills of others for survival, and new ‘niches for imbeciles’ were opened up. You could survive and pass your unremarkable genes to the next generation by working as a water carrier or assembly-line worker.

I know that’s not quite social Darwinism (it’s close), but it’s elitist BS that I find incredibly offensive. Then I began to absorb the fact that this was an historian writing a book on a subject outside his speciality (evolutionary biology). He makes many bold assertions, none of which are backed up with citations or even by uncited fact-claims. Just this is how it was. I don’t want to pollute my brain with potentially false assertions when I’m not educated enough to recognize truth from falsehood in this subject. On top of all that, I was getting the impression that he had a hefty “humans will destroy the earth and then go into an early, dreary extinction” agenda.

News

Saturday

The older kids were visiting their grandpa in Wisconsin, and dad, Aaron, IL4, and I relaxed. Without dad, we walked to the library, playground, and a pizza parlor so IL4 could play in the arcade. We watched two movies – Aquaman and Edge of Tomorrow. Dad took us out to eat.

Sunday

We took it easy on Sunday, too. After I worked, Aaron and I watched a couple of movies and he grilled.

Monday

Labor day was also a day off. The family watched some Grey’s anatomy.

Tuesday

It was back to reality on Tuesday. Immediately after work, I rushed to the preschool to sign something then zoomed to the middle school to pick up D13 for her appointment. I was thrilled after the appointment when I discovered I had enough time to eat before my day job. M11 and D13 had an audition for a community play in the evening.

Wednesday

Tuesday I took Dad to his doctor (ER followup), audiologist, and optical store (he lost his glasses when he fell). The doctor suggested lidocaine cream and 6 arthritis Tylenol a day for the rib pain, and so far, that has worked. Then I had a followup with my sleep specialist. In the evening, we got dad his RSV and flu shots.

Thursday

Ugh. Thursday was stressful. First, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off again. After work, I went directly to IL4’s school to drop something off. I went directly from there to my day job, and directly from there to pick up D13 for an appointment.

D13’s appointment was stressful. She has a new, private health problem that is worrisome. She and I have both been doom-scrolling. That doesn’t help the stress. She has a followup with another doctor on Tuesday.

Then dad is not dealing well with his rib injury. He’s in bed all day, and doesn’t do his breathing exercises because it hurts too much. This is exactly what he’s not supposed to be doing. I’m worried that he’ll decline in health and not be able to get back to where he was, which was already bad enough.

To complete the trifecta, IL4’s hospital visit next Wednesday is approaching fast and I am starting to worry about how it will go. How are they going to keep the tube in his throat? Sedate him? Hopefully not tie him down. It’s stressing me out.

Friday

Friday after work, M11 had an appointment with his eating disorder psychologist, who said by her reckoning he was only 5 pounds underweight to be 19th percentile BMI for his age (which is the best he’s been, though they want him at 25th percentile). I made a bunch more appointments with the clinic.

IL4 had a hard day. He threw a massive temper tantrum, which isn’t like him (for the most part). I guess he’s tired because his new special education class  is during his usual nap time. So he’s not getting enough sleep. I’m not sure what to do about that. Regardless, he did agree to go to feeding therapy, and he somewhat participated in that.

In the evening, D13, Aaron, and I watched a couple episodes of X-Files, them D13 and I watched the first episode of His Dark Materials.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 2 letters Massachusetts
• 1 letter Washington

Reading to myself

• Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari
• Emperor of Nihon-Ja, by John Flanagan
• Great Mythologies of the World, by Various Professors
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible

Reading to IL4

• Super Cheat Codes and Secret Modes, by Thomas Flintham
• Society of Substitutes Food Fight, by Alan Katz
• Ricky Ricotta’s Mighty Robot vs the Mutant Mosquitos from Mercury, by Dav Pilkey
• Princess in Black, by Shannon Hale & Dean Hale
• The Super Side-quest Test, by Thomas Flintham

D13 reading

• The Maleficent Seven, by Cameron Johnston

Aaron reading

• The Dragon Republic, by R. F. Kuang

Media Completed

Review here

Arthur is the son of the Queen of Atlantis and a lighthouse keeper. However, in order to save the land-dwellers’ from a war-like king of Atlantis, he must face who he is. It was an ok movie. Nothing I’d watch again.

During a gruesome battle with aliens, Major William Cage finds himself living the same day in a time loop. This was a action sci-fi drama that was worth a watch. I would have preferred more comedy.

Milton and Morgan find themselves in a food fight when their evil pet ferret tries to take over the world yet again. Funny and cute. IL4 enjoyed the pictures and story.

Owen is a vanilla, uninteresting man who’s about to marry the love of his life. But when he meets his in-laws-to-be, he is struck by their odd behavior. He is convinced they robbed his bank. This was a really weird movie. Mildly amusing. Good for a super-bored-want-to-watch-a-comedy mood.

Connor is a ruthless womanizer who wants to break up his brother’s wedding to “save” him from what Connor believes is a bad mistake. This was mostly funny and worth killing some time with, but I was a little put off by the sexism. It wasn’t just because it had a misogynistic pig in it, all the many women in this movie (save two) were slutty. Not in a nice they’re-free-to-do-what-they-want way, but in a they-have-no-self-respect way. Who would honestly sleep with that guy?

When a Mercurian mosquito decides earth looks better than Mercury, he creates a mutant mosquito army to take over the world. Good thing Ricky Ricotta and his mighty robot are there to cave the day. Cute story. Colorful, amusing pictures.

Princess Magnolia has a deep, dark secret. She is the Princess in Black – out to save the world from monsters. Cute story. Colorful pictures that IL4 loved.

Mira is grieving the tragic loss of her boyfriend two years ago. She decides to text his old phone number. Rob, a cynical young man who has stopped believing in love, receives them and falls in love with her words. This was a cute movie, and I’m glad I watched it.

In this moving memoir, Dr Westover discusses her difficulties separating herself from her abusive family. It is well-written and engaging. Definitely worth a read. However, I did wonder several times how much her memory of precise events was colored by cognitive distortions due to years of gaslighting, physical, and emotional abuse. For instance, (spoiler) they drove to Arizona only twice, and had a near-fatal car accident both times? She came to visit her family with intent of working out their differences only to have a nasty email about her up on the computer screen when she walked in? (end spoiler) There were too many of these coincidences to be fully realistic.

Another worry I had was that the book would exacerbate our culture’s prejudice of the Church of Latter Day Saints. People are just looking for another reason to hate Mormons. However, I don’t know how she would have written the story without mentioning LDS, and she did include a comment in the afterward saying that she did not wish her book to be a support nor a criticism of the Mormon church.

But, as my friend pointed out while discussing the book, these issues did not change the message of self-discovery and not letting your past define you.

Spoilers abound below.

These questions are adapted from Susan Bauer’s Well-Educated Mind, Chapter 6.

✏️Who was the author?

The author was a white, upper-middle class woman from a financially disadvantaged upbringing. She has a PhD in history.

✏️What are the central events?

It starts with her abusive childhood, moves to her undergraduate college years, and then to her grad school days.

✏️What historical events coincide or merge with personal events?

The major world events mentioned were Ruby Ridge (which happened near Dr Westover’s home), 9/11, and the assassination of Osama bin Laden.

✏️Who is the most important person, or people, in the writer’s life?

Her family were the most important to her, if the focus of this book is telling.

✏️What is the theme that ties the narrative together. Is the story spiritual or skeptical?

The theme is the transformation of a young woman to define herself by herself, and not by her past. I would say the memoir was skeptical based on the definition given by Bauer. This is not a book of spiritual importance, though I believe her Mormon heritage was important to who she became in the end. I don’t know that she’s still Mormon, but her graduate work depended heavily on her Mormon background.

🖍️If skeptical – What is the theme? Is the story relational (involving relationships with people)?

Yes, the story is mostly about her relationship with her family.

🖍️Is it oppositional (conflict between two different possible choices)?

Oh yes, it’s oppositional between herself, who she thinks she is, and her family.

🖍️Is it heroic, casting the writer in the mold of a mythical hero or heroine, conquering difficulties and overcoming obstacles?

I wouldn’t say so, no. She was fairly self deprecating throughout the book.

🖍️Is it historical?

Not really.

✏️Where is the life’s turning point? Is there a conversion?

When a certain particularly horrible thing happens and she looks in the mirror as she always does, and she doesn’t devolve into that person she used to be.

✏️For what does the writer apologize? In apologizing, how does the writer justify?

I guess in some way, she apologized for her ignorance of important events like the Holocaust, and excuses it by pointing out she was “homeschooled.”

She also apologized for cutting off her family, and that was excused by the way she was neglected and abused as a youth.

✏️What is the model – the ideal – for the author’s life?

Defining your own self

✏️What is the end of life (the place where the writer has arrived, found closure, discovered rest)?

Having been educated on how to define her own self

✏️Is the author writing for herself or a group?

She is writing to help other people in the same situation feel inspired to not let their past define them.

✏️What parts of the writer’s experience does she assume to be universal?

She seems to feel that a strong attachment to one’s family despite the situation is pretty common.

✏️Which does she view as unique to herself?

The very specifics of the situation would be unique to herself – going to college at a young age after receiving no education, for instance.

✏️Am I part of the group that would be expected to closely identify with the author’s story?

No, I was not neglected or abused by my parents as a child. Though I was by my sister.

✏️Does it ring true for me?

As stated above, I have some reservations about the details. I feel it’s possible she has some cognitive distortions due to a lifetime of abuse.

✏️What parts of the story resonate and which do not?

I understand how it feels to regret losing one’s family to a rift like this, but I found it easier to separate myself from an emotionally abusive sister.

✏️What are the three moments or timeframes of the story? (When it happened, when it was written, when it was read.)

It happened during the 1990s through 2010’s. (Childhood through young adulthood). The book was published in 2018, not too many years after the end of the story. I read it in 2023, so not too long after it was published.

✏️What was the author’s reason for writing?

I don’t know…probably partly as a cathartic act to release the emotions pent up since childhood and partly to inspire others not to define themselves by their pasts.

✏️Was the writer at a high or low point at the time of writing?

It would seem to have been a high point, though I’d say she’ll hopefully have even higher points.

✏️How has the biography changed in the years since its publication?

Not really. It hasn’t been too long and not much has changed societally since it was published – at least not on the covered topics of abuse, neglect, family relations, and education.

✏️Where does the author’s judgement lie? What, or whom, does the author judge? Is this criticism valid?

I don’t know if Dr Westover considers herself to judge her various family members or not. I’d say from my perspective, she negatively judges the abusive and neglectful behavior of her dad and brother Shawn, as well as her mom’s willful ignorance of what was going on.

Yes, I’d say this criticism is very valid if things were even a fraction as bad as she relates.

✏️Who do I deem responsible for successes and failures of the author?

Well, I guess I should deem her parents and brother Shawn as the main players in her making mistakes as a child and teen. But once she was an adult, she was responsible for her own self.

✏️What have I brought away from this story? What did I hope to get?

It was an interesting story of overcoming a challenging past. I can’t really relate much to her problems, not having grown up in a similar way at all, but it therefore provided a view of what some people have to endure just to survive. And how strength and intelligence can overcome it. But it also indirectly implies that people without these characteristics may not be able to overcome the abuse – or may not want to – as is shown in her sister Audrey.

I don’t know what I hoped to get. I didn’t really know what the book was about when I picked it up…just that it was supposed to be really good.

News

Saturday

Saturday morning, M11 had his tap dance cabaret. He did great. Then IL4 met with a friend from his daycare to play at the park (M11 came to the park, too). The kid’s mom said “[friend] said IL4’s real name is I, but he gets REALLY angry when you call him that. You HAVE to call him L.” 🤣😂 I had no idea he hated his first name. Though he hates being called anything but his middle name, so I should have known.

After that, M11 and I went to Oppenheimer. He’s been eager to do so since it came out. Not sure why, as it’s not his usual interest. But he didn’t understand it, so we went home two thirds of the way through.

Sunday

Sunday we packed up the car and headed out for our vacation. When we got to our camping “resort” we started by playing a very pathetic game of mini-golf. The course was so disappointing, and I was afraid the whole weekend would be awful. But then we decided to try out tubing after all.

We’d been planning on going tanking, which would have us floating down the river in a large tank, but the water level was too low. I didn’t want to take IL4 tubing, because he wouldn’t be able to stay in a tube. But they tied a life jacket to the tube so IL4 could have something to sit in. It worked really well.

IL4 slept through most of the float. He looked very peaceful. After running into low-hanging branches a few times, I got out of my tube and pulled the whole group (which was tied together) into the middle of the river whenever it got close to the edge. I didn’t realize what a workout it was until I was exhausted at the end of the day. (Probably especially when I had to swim because I couldn’t touch the bottom. I’m a fairly mediocre swimmer.) This is how I discovered that running shoes float. (We wore our shoes because we hadn’t planned on tubing, and didn’t have anything else to wear.)

Later, Aaron cooked hamburgers and bacon-wrapped asparagus, and then we had a fire.

Monday

Monday we had pancakes and sausages for breakfast. We went apple picking and where there was a petting zoo and a huge playground. We went to Perkins while in town. Then we hung out in the cabin, read, talked, and played a high stress game of Pandemic, during which IL4 wanted to move his piece all over the board willi nilli. We only cured 3 diseases before the world succumbed to plague.

Tuesday

Tuesday was back to life. We packed up and left for home at about 10am. Then I ran some errands and went to work. My friend Liz came over in the evening and we cross-stitched and watched Doctor Who. IL4 told her all about his playdate in the most verbal manner I’ve ever heard. He was able to hold a back and forth conversation without babbling half the time. D13 has now finished her bigger cat cross-stitch and is working on a rather complicated unicorn.

Wednesday

Wednesday was back to my busy life. It was the first day of school for the older kids, and teacher meet-and-greet day for preschool, so I was running around dropping off school supplies and medicine to the schools. Both D13 and I had a doctor’s appointment. Mine was to discuss the possibility that my sleeping disorder may be a blood pressure issue. So I’m going to take my blood pressure daily, as well as whenever a sleepiness attack comes.

Then I had to drop the soccer gear off. There was no time to breathe. In the evening, D13, IL4, and I made an apple crisp while M11 was doing service hours at a back-to-school event.

Thursday

Thursday was a mess. After work, I took dad to an appointment about his breathing issues. He was diagnosed with emphysema and given a daily inhaler. His breathing test was so bad that it came back as “unable to interpret,” despite dad blowing so hard into the machine that he almost fainted.

After that, IL4 had feeding therapy. It had been going well, but he just wasn’t feeling it that day. He ate nothing, and gave an “H*** no” to the apple crisp.

I had been planning on going to Feed My Starving Children with M11 and D13 in the evening, but upon returning home from feeding therapy, my dad said “you know, I think I have a concussion.”

He had left for a walk at 3 and returned home at 3:30, just as I was leaving with IL4. Apparently, on this walk, he’d tried to go down a steep dirt path (one he has to literally crawl back up on a good day). He’d tripped on a root, and remembered banging his knee. He had only one memory of his return home – leaning on a fence to catch his breath. His next memory was sitting in his chair and wondering how he got there. His memory after that was at 5:30, when he suddenly found himself in the restroom with blood on his head – no memory of having walked in there. That’s when I came home from feeding therapy.

We went to the ER. 4 hours later, we had the following diagnoses: sprained wrist, 3 broken ribs, concussion, and (unrelated) ventriculomegaly. They discovered the last during the CT scan.

Ventriculomegaly is a condition in which he has too much cerebral spinal fluid in his brain which causes a series of symptoms (including dementia and unsteady gait), all of which he has. So…now we get to see a neurologist. Probably 3-6 months down the line, of course, because it’s impossible to see specialists in a timely manner.

But at least I got a night off work. If only I didn’t have to work extra hours on a later date to make up for the lost income. 🤦‍♀️

Friday

Friday IL4 had speech therapy, and then I tried unsuccessfully to destress after yesterday. Dad is having difficulty agreeing to see a neurologist because the last one diagnosed him with mild cognitive impairment (which is full blown dementia by now, I’m pretty sure). He does not agree with that diagnosis, and therefore that neurologist is stupid. But he agreed to go as long as he didn’t see that neurologist again.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Texas
• 1 letter Pennsylvania

Reading to myself

• Zombies vs Unicorns, by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
• Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari
• Educated, by Tara Westover
• The Merry Adventures of Robinhood, by Howard Pyle
• St Augustine’s Confessions, by William R Cook & Ronald B Herzman
• Mahabharata
• Emperor of Nihon-Ja, by John Flanagan

Reading to IL4

• Super King Viking Land, by Thomas Flintham
• Happy Birthday Bad Kitty, by Nick Bruel
• Super Cheat Codes and Secret Modes, by Thomas Flintham

D13 reading

• Skandar and the Phantom Rider, by A. F. Steadman

Aaron reading

• The Dragon Republic, by R. F. Kuang

Media Completed

In this installment, Bad Kitty has an ill-conceived birthday party and we meet all of his friends. Not quite as funny as the first book, but it IL4 loved it, and I found it pretty amusing.

This children’s classic chronicles the adventures of Robinhood. It was fun.

Games Played

Weight Loss

X – 44.5

News

Saturday

Saturday was our newly minted monthly day of cleaning. We’re going to pick one day a month where we focus the whole day on cleaning. We made less progress than I expected when I originally made the plan – I somehow imagined a sparkly clean house – but we worked hard and I got the upstairs more in order and he got the downstairs more in order.

As for dad’s plan to come on the half marathon, he backed off, saying I made it clear I didn’t want him to come. But it was still easier than I expected to talk him out of it. Partly, I think it’s because he timed himself walking 3 miles and discovered it takes him 2 hours. I don’t think he believed me when I said that earlier. I did offer to take him on a 13 mile walk in October where Aaron could pick us up if we needed rescuing. He didn’t seem that interested. 🤷‍♀️

Sunday

Sunday was fun. M11 came back from camp. D13 came back from her mom’s. I worked. We watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and then D13 and I went to Barbie in the theater. That was bizarre.

Monday

Monday we had two appointments – one for me, one for D13. Then D13 and IL4 made slime and chocolate chip cookies, while I dyed M11’s hair green. IL4 slept through his penultimate soccer game (the one on Wednesday will likely be cancelled due to heat, so it was probably the ultimate soccer game). I coached anyway, and picked up IL4’s participation medal. M11 had Boy Scouts and worked on the Signs and Signals merit badge.

Tuesday

Tuesday was busy. I went directly from work to M11’s band orientation, from there, we went to his middle school orientation. We had a short break (in which we sorted out the school supplies), and then went to an appointment for M11 and an appointment for D13. When IL4 and Aaron got home, we went with dad to Red Lobster.

Wednesday

Wednesday went ok in the end. I went directly from work to work, and was supposed to go directly from there to pick up IL4 for an appointment. But my client’s son came back a half hour late, so Aaron had to pick up IL4 and we met at the doctor’s office with about 10 minutes to spare. M11 later had a rehearsal for his upcoming cabaret.

Thursday

Thursday was tough. IL4 had an appointment with his GI specialist, who says she doesn’t think his impaction is cleared out properly. We now have to check him into the hospital and have a tube down his throat which drips something into his gut to soften his stool.  On average, this takes 1-2 days. This sounds like an ordeal for him. 😭

Friday

Friday, IL4 had feeding and speech therapy. Both therapists said he did great. M11 had tap dance. Then the older kids went to their mom’s for the night, and dad and I sat and watched the entire first season of Stranger Things in one sitting. 😱 That wasn’t in the plan for the evening. Dad just kept watching and I knew he’d stop if I went to sleep. I wanted him to enjoy himself.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Michigan
• 1 letter Washington
• 1 letter Georgia
• 1 letter Oklahoma

Reading to myself

• Great Courses: Confessions of Augustine, by William R Cook & Ronald B Herzman
• The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood, by Howard Pyle
• Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari
• Educated, by Tara Westover
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Great Mythologies of the World, by Various Professors
• Bible
• Mahabharata

Reading to IL4

• Robo-Rabbit Boy Go!, By Thomas Flintham
• Attack of the 50-ft Cupid, by Jim Benton
• Super Rabbit Boy’s Team-up Trouble, by Thomas Flintham
• Unicorn and Yeti: Friends Rock, by Heather Ayris Burnell

M10

• Working on Signs and Signals Merit Badge

D13 reading

• Skandar and the Phantom Rider, by A F Steadman
• Stellarlune, by Shannon Messenger

Aaron reading

• The Dragon Republic, by R F Kuang

Media Completed

Franny is back, this time trying to make Valentine’s Day cards. Her new dog, Igor, accidentally manifests a gigantic cupid, and they have to team up to get rid of him. Cute and funny.

How bizarre. How bizarre. How bizarre.

News

Saturday

Saturday was fun. Aaron and I had a 4.5 hour D&D session followed by a date – Mexican food and a local tavern within walking distance.

Sunday

Sunday was family day (Aaron’s choice of what to do). We ate pizza and watched Grey’s Anatomy. IL4 told me he wanted to be a chef when he grows up.

Monday

Monday was another good day. Dad, D13, M11, IL4 and I went to the Mall of America. All 3 kids bought some LEGOS. For IL4, it was his first set ever. D13 helped him put it together later. Then, D13 accompanied me to soccer to help wrangle IL4 if he ran off while I was coaching. But IL4 was well-behaved and  played pretty well. I think he was tired from the trip to the mall, though. M11 was at acting class and the Boy Scouts.

Tuesday

Tuesday was a calm day that I mostly spent working. M11 had swim lessons. Then my friend Liz came over and we watched Doctor who and cross-stitched.

Wednesday

On Wednesday, IL4 stayed home with a slight fever. I had been going to run a bunch of errands, so this was very inconvenient. However, I did manage to get some housework done while he was watching TV. D13 had her orthodontist appointment and got a whole bunch more Invisalign trays.

Then after Aaron got home, dad and I went shopping for school supplies. I started out in a bad mood, because dad spent the entire drive to Target claiming that anyone can walk a half marathon. Even he could walk a half marathon. (Untrue. He can walk 3 miles and then sleeps the whole next day) and that he was doing 13 mile walks since he was 8. That was in response to me telling him I was going to walk a half marathon in September. So much for support in my weight loss journey.

Then the shopping itself was horrible. They are very specific at this school about what color highlighters and notebooks and folders the kids get, and everything had been picked over – presumably by other people needing very specific things. Like a red, grid-ruled composition notebook. SERIOUSLY?! Is that to keep it straight from all the other grid-ruled composition notebooks she has?

I had to buy a pack of 15 variety color chisel-tip highlighters to get one orange, blue, and yellow. I had to buy a pack of 10 variety color fine tip highlighters to get one yellow one. I was livid. Now I’m going to have to figure out what to do with all the extra highlighters (not to mention the added cost). $200 down, I left the store and gave up on my previous plan to also go grocery shopping. I needed to be home. Luckily, my lovely husband went out and got the groceries for me.

Thursday

Thursday was busy. I went almost immediately from job 1 to job 2. Then I directed M11’s packing for camp until.Aaron got home. D13 and I were meant to go out to eat and then to Feed My Starving Children, but after dinner she said she might be getting sick, so we went home.

Then, the most awful thing happened. My dad, who really, really wants me to know how easy it is to walk 13 miles, has decided he may just go on the race with me. He made me show him the webpage for the walking half marathon and insisted that he could definitely do it in 8 hours. It takes him 2 hours to walk 3 miles, and then he sleeps for the rest of the day and the next day. So, uh, no. Not only is he physically incapable of walking a half marathon, even if he could walk it, he’s too slow to do it in 8 hours. I just wanted to listen to my audiobook while getting in a good walk. If he comes along, my registration money is wasted, because we won’t finish, and I lose the opportunity to listen to an audiobook while walking. Not to mention potentially dealing with a medical crisis.

Friday

Friday was exhausting. After work, I took IL4 to speech, out to lunch with my friend Liz, and to feeding therapy. Then I took M11 to tap, went to Target to pick him up some supplies for camping, then drove him 45 minutes each way to camp. D13 was picked up by her mom at some point during the day, but I did not see her nor have any interaction with her all day. Dad is still talking about going on the walking marathon.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter California
• 1 letter Virginia
• 1 letter Maine

Reading to myself

• Throne of Glass, by Sarah J Maas
• Educated, by Tara Westover
• Death with Interruptions, by Jose Saramago
• Cursed, ed by Marie O’Regan
• Loki and Sigyn, by Lea Svendsen
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible
• Great Courses: Saint Augustine’s Confessions], by William R Cook & Ronald B Herzman
• The Well-Educated Mind, by Susan Wise Bauer
• Zombies vs Unicorns, by Holly Black & Justine Larbalestier

Reading to IL4

• Super Narwhal and Jelly Jolt, by Ben Clanton
• Super Rabbit Boy World, by Thomas Flintham
• Unicorn and Yeti Cheer Up, by Heather Ayris Burnell

D13 reading

• Stellarlune, by Shannon Messenger
• Devil in the White City, by Erik Larson

Aaron reading

• The Dragon Republic, by R. F. Kuang

Media Completed

This is the second Narwhal and Jelly book, and it’s just as cute as the first. In it, Narwhal and Jelly decide they will be superheros and help the sea creatures.

Death takes a break from taking lives as a thought experiment. Chaos ensues. Wow, this book was clever, funny (in a dry way), and definitely interesting. I have only read one other book by Saramago, and I remember loving it, but I think this one was even better.

Celaena is the world’s best assassin until she is caught and thrown into a prison camp. But then the crown prince comes to retrieve her so she can battle people in an attempt to become the king’s champion. However, things become comex when the other competitors start dying. This was a fun first book to a teen fantasy. I’m not huge of love triangles – I find them to be an insipid plot to lure girls who don’t know any better into thinking their sexual desirability is an important part of who they are. So, I have a negative bias that comes forth in the rating. Story-wise, I’d say it was some pretty good fluff, though.

Cursed is a pretty good adult fantasy anthology that has a theme of curses. Most of the stories in it are very good. The only reason for the mediocre rating is that I personally don’t like short story anthologies much. I prefer more character and plot development than a short story is able to include. I listened to this as a way to engage one of my clients during downtime.

Exercise

News

Saturday

Saturday was the full day of our tent camping trip (IL4, Aaron, and me). We slept in, cooked sausages for breakfast, played in the playground, hiked about three fourths of a mile, cooked burgers, and had a fire. IL4 was a little grumpy before passing out in the tent, tightly clutching a random piece of bread, but he otherwise enjoyed himself.

Sunday

We broke camp pretty quickly Sunday morning because neither of us had any caffeine left. Plus I needed to get to work. But then we all had dinner together and watched Grey’s Anatomy (season 1) as a family.

Monday

After D13’s morning appointment on Monday, I bleached M11’s hair and dyed D13’s (black) and IL4’s (blue) hair. IL4 then wanted to dye my hair red, but I told him that I didn’t have any more bleach, and D13 said my hair would have to be brown. IL4 went into the kitchen and dumped the cocoa down the sink, trying to prepare some brown dye for me. Apparently he didn’t notice my hair is already brown.

Later, I coached soccer. I let IL4 sleep through the game because he was probably tired after being jacked up all day. M11 had acting class followed by Boy Scouts.

Tuesday

Tuesday, D13 started a culinary class through the school district. She made some pasta. I tried going on a walk with dad, but he had difficulty after climbing down a steep hiking path and had to crawl back up. So we went home. It was about three quarters of a mile round-trip. M11 had his penultimate swim lesson, and then the family ate out at Outback.

Wednesday

Wednesday, D13 made egg rolls for her culinary class. They were delicious. Later, IL4 played soccer. He’s getting so much better! He actually runs around after the ball, and even got in the knot of kids trying to kick the ball a couple of times.

Thursday

Thursday D13 had her last culinary class, where she made cookies.

Friday

Friday went great, I got all my weekly house cleaning goals done (thanks to Aaron, who scrubbed the bathroom floors), and took IL4, dad, and Deirdre for a walk to the library. IL4 picked out a lovely book in cybersecurity. Then we picked up M11 and went to Perkins. By the time we got home, IL4 was asleep, so dad, D13, and I ran errands so IL4 could sleep more.

Week’s Photos

Letters Written

• 1 letter Massachusetts
• 1 letter Texas
• 1 letter Pennsylvania
• 1 letter Maine

Reading to myself

• Throne of Glass, by Sarah J Maas
• Flowers for Algernon, by Daniel Keyes
• Mahabharata
• Mr Ballen Podcast
• Loki and Sigyn, by Lea Svendsen
• Educated, by Tara Westover
• How to Read the Bible, by James Kugel
• Bible
• Death With Interruptions, by Jose Saramago

Reading to IL4

• Super Rabbit Boy vs Super Rabbit Boss, by Thomas Flintham
• Robo-Rabbit Boy Go, by Thomas Flintham
• Bad Guys: Intergalactic Gas, by Aaron Blabey
• Henry Heckelbeck and the Haunted Hideout, by Wanda Coven
• Unicorn and Yeti: Sparkly New Friends, by Heather Ayris Burnell
• Unicorn and Yeti: Fair and Square, by Heather Ayris Burnell
• Stinky Cecil in Operation Pond Rescue, by Paige Braddock

M10 reading

• Working on Cyber Chip for Boy Scouts

D13 reading

• Unlocked, by Shannon Messenger
• Stellarlune, by Shannon Messenger

Media Completed

The Good Guys Club blast off into space to find the evil Dr Marmalade. This is another hilarious installment. I love these books, and so does IL4.

In this installment, Henry is looking for a hideout for himself and his friends. But he gets more than he bargained for when he finds out the hideout is haunted. This is a cute book that IL4 enjoyed.

In this 1959 thought experiment, scientists use surgery to make a mouse named Algernon intelligent. The success is so great, they try it out on a man with developmental disability, too. When Charlie becomes a genius, the way he interacts with others and the way he understands their intents often made me wish he had remained the way he had been. This book was ahead of its time in demonstrating that people with developmental disabilities are just as much people with a quality of life as those without a disability. (In fact, I think there are still people who don’t see that to this day, as some of the choices on who gets a respirator would show during the pandemic.) I was surprised at how little cringe the book had, given that it was published before deinstitutionalization and the use of person-first language. Yes, it did use terms that were politically incorrect, but that is to be expected based on the publication date. Overall, I would suggest this book to just about anyone, teen and older.

This is a cute graphic novel about some pond creatures that go on a mission to stop construction of a road over their habitat. It was perfect to read to a 4-year-old, with adorable pictures, humor, and a good story.

In this second installment of 13th Street, the cousins Malia, Dante, and Ivan are joined by two new adventurers as their school bus is kidnapped into 13th street. They must vanquish giant fire-breathing ferrets to return home. This was a cute mini-chapter-book which occasionally congratulates the reader on how many words they’ve read.

Exercise / Weight Loss