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Saturday

Saturday, I worked till 11:30am, then immediately started playing a 5 hour session of D&D. Then I pretty much crashed for the day. M10 had a great time at the Pinewood Derby with his mom.

Sunday

Let me tell you, by Sunday I was sick of being sick. I understand the lingering cough, but the 2-week-long sore throat? The shortness if breath? I wonder if I had the flu…but I had no fever. It’s not strep or COVID, that’s all I know.

Anyway, Sunday I relaxed through the first half and had family day through the second half. We played Uno (IL4 is really getting to understand the rules!) and Charades for Kids, which has pictures of what you’re supposed to act out so that kids who can’t read can play. About half the time, IL4 would tell us what it was before acting it out. Then we watched Hunger Games while IL4 hid in his blanket fort with the computer.

M10 had rehearsal for his musical show. D13 had been with her mom, and was feeling a bit glum after leaving her.  ☹️

Monday

Still sick on Monday with this never-ending virus. I’d been hoping to go to Urgent Care, but the daycare called and said they thought IL4 had pink eye. I didn’t agree. Yes, he had eye crusties, but his eyes weren’t pink. So he, dad, and I went to Perkins for lunch.

Before that call came in, D13 had a doctor appointment and I had someone look at the basement to give us a quote on fixing the flooding. His quote was very reasonable considering the gigantic quote we got from the other guy. I’d been thinking of cancelling the basement guy due to illness, but decided two weeks in I’m probably not contagious, and I could just wear a mask.

In the evening, D13 had middle school play rehearsal followed immediately by Willy Wonka rehearsal. M10 skipped Willy Wonka rehearsal to go to his dress rehearsal for his graduation from Cub Scouts into Scouts BSA. IL4 slept most of the evening, and I crashed early.

Tuesday

Still sick on Tuesday. I wanted to go to Urgent Care, because I’m sick of this, but I had IL4 home due to the maybe pink eye. Instead, I took him to the doctor, who decided to treat the eye just in case. Aaron, dad, and I went to Outback Steakhouse after D13 got back from rehearsal. She didn’t want to come, and neither did M10.

I guess one benefit of being sick more than two weeks is that I’m not hungry, so I’m losing weight. Probably just dehydrated and have an empty gut, but I’ve lost 6lbs in 2 weeks.

Wednesday

Still sick on Wednesday. Ugh. IL4 had an audiology appointment since they had trouble testing him at his Well-Child visit in February. The older kids had Willy Wonka rehearsal in the evening.

Thursday

Thursday. Guess what. Still sick. M10 had a play at school based on the story Fly Away Home, by Eve Bunting. He did great. Then D13 had an orthodontist appointment – another “few weeks” of alligners upcoming! We thought we were done. We pick those up in a month, so we have a break from scanning her mouth weekly, at least. It’s a hard task with IL4 around, and we both hate doing it. Then I napped for 2.5 hours, and awoke with a worse sore throat than when I went to sleep. We ended the evening with our family game of D&D.

Friday

Friday was excellent. Despite a slightly sore throat, I felt almost normal. I even got some cleaning done! If this keeps up, I’ll be able to start exercising again on Monday. I took the day to read and relax. M10 had rehearsal for his special villager part in Willy Wonka.

Reading to IL4

• Tiny T Rex and the Impossible Hug, by Jonathan Stutzman and Jay Fleck
• We Don’t Eat Our Classmates, by Ryan T Higgins
• Don’t Feed the Coos, by Jonathan Stutzman and Heather Fox
• Little Good Wolf, by Janet Stevens and Susan Stevens Crummel
• Off to See the Sea, by Nikki Grimes and Elizabeth Zunon
• Eva’s Treetop Festival, by Rebecca Elliot
• The Case of the Weird Blue Chicken, by Doreen Cronin
• Peppa Pig George’s Race Car

M10 reading

• Fuzz, by Mary Roach

D13 reading

• Waiting for Unicorns, by Beth Hautala
• The Princess Curse, by Merrie Haskel

Wrote

• 1 letter Pennsylvania Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Virginia Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Michigan Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Maine Department of Corrections
• 1 letter California Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Alberta, Canada

Media Partaken In

Posts

• Tiny T Rex and the Impossible Hug, by Jonathan Stutzman and Jay Fleck
• Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons, by James Dean and Eric Litwin
• The Invisible Boy, by Trudy Ludwig and Patrice Barton
• Sixteen Scandals, by Sophie Jordan

Games Played

Productivity

EXPLANATION: I have separated my productivity time into life, body, spirit and mind. My goal is for the month of March is 60 hours mind, 12 hours body, 80 hours spirit. I don’t have a life goal, because the purpose of this exercise is to spend less time on life, and more time on personal development. I consider all structured necessary productivity to be life. I make the goals challenging, and reward myself for 80% or more completion.

Weight loss journey

When Prim turns 16, she expects to be put “out” in society by her mom. But, alas! Her mom has other plans. So Prim decides to take her life into her own hands by sneaking out of the house and going for a night on the town. Romance and comedy ensues. This was a cute Regency romance-style book for teens. It’s clean humor, sweet, and fun. It would be a good way to introduce young teens to Regency romance.

Brian is invisible. His teacher only sees the loud students. His classmates only see their friends. But when a new kid joins the class, Brian is kind to him. And suddenly he’s not invisible anymore. This is a cute story with wonderful pictures and a good moral for kids to empathize with.

Another great Pete the Cat book. This one is about how Pete remains calm as his groovy buttons pop off his shirt one by one. Pete sure is smooth!

Tiny would love to give a hug to his friend Spikey, who’s having a bad day. But his arms are so short! This is an adorable book about problem solving and being a good friend.

News

Saturday

Saturday my voice was pretty much gone for the first half of the day. I figured I had caught strep from IL4, but when I went to urgent care, I tested negative. I took the day off – asking Aaron to do things I normally would have done like run to the library. He also went to the Little Women play D13 and I had planned on going to. D13 really enjoyed the play. 😊

Sunday

Sunday I was still feeling a bit sick, but quite a bit better than Saturday. M10 had rehearsal for his dance/singing show that he’s in, and D13 and I watched a couple of movies while M10 and Aaron made his Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts.

Monday

Monday was a productive day. I tried out getting up at 4:30 to go to the gym, but I’ve now decided that if I go to bed too early, I can’t read to IL4, and that’s important too. I’m still struggling to find a time to exercise. I think I’ll try 7am next. Problem is, my dad wants me to walk with him, too, and that’ll all take up a good chunk of my morning. I feel like I should, because he keeps falling down on his walks. But it’s not much of a workout. I have a weighted vest for such walks, so hopefully that’ll help.

M10 and D13 both had an appointment Monday morning, D13 had rehearsal for the middle school play in the afternoon, and M10 and she had rehearsal for Willy Wonka in the evening. Getting IL4 to bed was a pain. But after 4 pieces of bacon he settled down enough to at least sit in bed.

I found a mole on my face that seems to be growing, but nothing too worrysome – if anything it’s only a basal cell carcinoma, and I may just be paranoid. I got a dermatology appointment next Tuesday due to a cancellation – they’re booking out to September.

Tuesday

Tuesday I was feeling mostly better. I had taken off productivity goals for the rest of February (just did what I felt like doing) due to feeling sick, but given a downturn on Wednesday morning, I decided to go through goalless till Friday.

M10 had two appointments, D13 had rehearsal for the middle school play, and IL4 had swim lessons. M10 is up to 66 lbs (his goal weight), and D13 chose to make her play character into a 6 year old girl. She has a lot of artistic freedom with her role as “applause girl.”

Wednesday

Wednesday I went downhill again in health. Not horribly bad, just feeling lightheaded and tired. After IL4’s special education, my dad, IL4, and I went to Perkins and grocery shopping. I took IL4 to the dentist. He was reluctant to sit in the chair, but finally agreed and got his teeth cleaned. Then the older kids had rehearsal for Willy Wonka. While they were doing that, I planned out the family’s summer activities. D13 will take a cooking class and a water safety assistant class, M10 will take swim lessons and an archery camp. They’ll both audition for a part in a Little Mermaid production. And IL4 will have an art class. I am considering a mud run and walking half-marathon, but want to train a little first to gauge my readiness.

Thursday

Thursday started out with my client desperately asking if I could work for her in the evening because she had COVID and had exhausted her resources. (She knows I don’t like evening shifts because I lose family time, and that I’m sick.) I picked up the shift, and spent the entire day either sleeping or resting so I’d have energy when I went in. I didn’t see D13 all day, and barely glimpsed IL4 and M10.

Friday

Friday was a full day. I got up early to talk to D13 because I hadn’t seen her the day before, then took M10 to school with his trombone. On our way home, IL4 and I stopped by the library, then went to speech therapy. Not long after that, we picked up M10 from school for an appointment. I had about an hour break after that, followed by an overnight shift with my client. I barely glimpsed D13 coming home from middle school play rehearsal.

Week’s Photos

Reading to IL4

• Llama Rocks the Cradle of Chaos, by Jonathan Stutzman & Heather Fox
• The Invisible Boy, by Trudy Ludwig & Patrice Barton
• Tiny T Rex and the Impossible Hug, by Jonathan Stutzman and Jay Fleck
• We Don’t Eat Our Classmates, by Ryan T Higgins
• Chicken Squad, by Doreen Cronin & Kevin Cornell
• Eva’s Treetop Festival, by Rebecca Elliott

M10 reading

• Fuzz, by Mary Roach

D13 reading

• Skandar and the Unicorn Thief, by A. F. Steadman
• The Tail of Emily Windsnap, by Liz Kessler

Media Partaken In

Wrote

• 1 letter Pennsylvania Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Virginia Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Maine Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Michigan Department of Corrections

Posts

• Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, by mo willems
• Knight Owl, by Christopher Denise

Productivity

I have separated my productivity time into life, body, spirit and mind. My goal is for the month of March is 60 hours mind, 12 hours body, 80 hours spirit. I don’t have a life goal, because the purpose of this exercise is to spend less time on life, and more time on personal development. I consider all structured necessary productivity to be life.

Below is this week’s productivity stats, which isn’t bad since I was sick all week.

Weight loss journey

In this colorful little book, a young owl dreams of being a knight, and when knights start disappearing, he gets his chance. Night watch is easy for him, but things aren’t always what they appear. This is a cute story about bonding with your perceived enemy over common ground.

In this classic picture book, the pigeon really, really, really wants to drive the bus. Will you let him? Cute and silly. A good book for little kids.

News

Saturday

Saturday was a bit of a drain. I was supposed to have worked from 7pm Friday till 9am Saturday, but a coworker called in and I worked till 11:30am instead. So, immediately upon getting home, I played D&D for 4 hours, while watching IL4 at the same time, which is fun, but not relaxing. At 7, I was back at work for another 14 hour shift.

Sunday

Sunday I got off work at 9, ran an errand, went to a bookstore to buy Aaron his birthday gift, and interviewed a babysitter. It was family day, and we let Aaron choose what to do, since it was his birthday. He chose to watch Locke & Key. IL4 fell asleep, and when he woke, he had developed a nasty case of viral pink eye, so we stopped watching mid-episode, and I took him to bed.

Monday

Monday was a pain. IL4’s pink eye turned out to be bacterial. All the kids were home for President’s Day, and D13 had a therapy appointment. I let M10 sit with IL4 for a few minutes while I dropped D13 off, and again when I picked her up. I figured Aaron was downstairs working, so it would be ok – and it was.

Luckily, the nurses have a standing-order prescription for pink eye, and all I had to do was call them up and tell them he had bacterial pink eye.

At about 5, IL4 crashed and I sat in bed with him till 10 because said he was scared of the pain. He felt a little better when I agreed to put a bandaid on his forehead, though.

Tuesday

Tuesday IL4’s eyes were looking a bit better, so we knew the drops were working. I mostly relaxed at home with IL4, but I also had a fun visit with an inmate pen pal. We were expecting a big snowstorm over the next couple of days, so we were hunkering down for that.

Wednesday

Wednesday was the beginning of the snowpacalypse. It was a really unimpressive snowpacalypse, though. When IL4 awakened covered in a rash, I was easily able to haul him off to Urgent Care without shoveling my car out.

At UC, he was diagnosed with an ear infection and “strep with rash,” which they didn’t actually test him for. He was freaking out as if the doctor had some nefarious plans for him, and wouldn’t let the test kit near himself. The doctor decided she was “certain” it was strep based on the rash and appearance of the throat, and that he needed to be on antibiotics for the ear infection anyway.

I wonder if that was the same doctor who gave me antibiotics two weeks ago for strep because she was certain it was strep, then the strep test came back negative? Regardless, I am super convinced that the diagnosis was correct this time.

Thursday

Thursday was fairly uneventful for a snow storm day. We got 18 inches of snow, and the kids were home from school. IL4 was feeling a lot better. In the evening, we played D&D.

Friday

Friday I was feeling sick again – well, I guess I’ve been feeling tired all week (I’m obviously fighting off an infection, and should probably get tested for strep this weekend.) IL4 threw a temper tantrum before speech therapy, making us 10 minutes late. M10 went with his mom for the weekend. D13 loved her first rehearsal for the middle school play.

Weight Loss – still plateaued at 20lbs.

Reading to IL4

• Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, by mo willems
• A Stone Sat Still, by Brendan Wenzel
• Bad Kitty Gets a Bath, by Nick Bruel
• Narwhal: Unicorn of the Sea!, By Ben Clanton
• Knight Owl, by Christopher Denise
• The Good Egg, by Jory John

M10 reading

• Fuzz, by Mary Roach

Wrote

• 1 letter Pennsylvania Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Michigan Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Virginia Department of Corrections
• 1 letter Pennsylvania
• 1 letter Maine Department of Corrections
• 1 letter France

Media Partaken In

Posts

• A Stone Sat Still, by Brendan Wenzel
• A Mother’s Reckoning, by Sue Klebold

In this tragic memoir, Sue Klebold tells about her grief journey in the aftermath of her son shooting teens in the Columbine school shooting. It’s not an apology – and it shouldn’t be. It’s a recognition that she’s a mother too, that she lost her son, too. But when I say it like that, it makes it sound like she’s begging you to recognize that. She’s not. She’s just trying to explain that perhaps if she had been aware of suicide risks, she may have prevented her son’s involvement in the shooting, but that she (like many moms of suicidal teens) was blindsided by inexperience. This book is a plea for other moms to recognize the signs and help their kids.

Spoilers abound below.

These questions are adapted from Susan Bauer’s Well-Educated Mind, Chapter 6.

✏️Who was the author? (Woman or man or other? Race and ethnicity? Important occupation?)

Sue Klebold considered herself as a mother – a “normal” mother in extraordinary circumstances. She is white, and middle class.

✏️What are the central events?

The most important event is when her son, Dylan Klebold, joined Eric Harris in slaughtering teenagers, and a teacher, at Columbine High School. Everything else was explanation of how she was a normal mother with what appeared to be a normal son (before), and she was a normal mother recovering from a heartbreaking tragedy afterwards.

✏️Who is the most important person, or people, in the writer’s life?

The three most important people in Sue Klebold’s life during the scope of this story were her husband Thomas and her sons Dylan and Byron.

✏️What is the theme that ties the narrative together?

The overarching theme is one of recovery from a tragedy. However, there are a few underlying themes. The most important is that depression can impact anyone’s child, and that care should be taken to watch for the signs and be empathetic to their needs to help prevent suicide or other tragedy.

✏️Where is the life’s turning point?

I would say the obvious turning point is when the Columbine shooting occurs. But there was a second, more subtle turn when Sue realized that Dylan didn’t just shoot a bunch of kids – he committed suicide and didn’t care if he killed others while doing it. (As opposed to Eric, who seems to have murdered kids, but didn’t care if he died doing it.) Until she realized Dylan’s was foremost a suicide (which she read in a scholarly article about the shooting), she was viewing it simply as murder and couldn’t reconcile the son she knew with the son that killed so many.

✏️For what does the writer apologize? In apologizing, how does the writer justify?

Well, the major thing to apologize for is obvious – her son killed a bunch of teenagers . In the story, Sue Klebold talks about writing a sort of apology/sympathy card to the victims and their families, but I don’t think the purpose of this book was to apologize. She did sound apologetic at times, but the purpose was to talk about tragedy and recovery and suicide awareness.

As for justification, I’m not sure she mentioned one, except for “he seemed perfectly normal, I didn’t allow guns in the house, and I gave him love.”

✏️What is the model – the ideal – for the author’s life?

I’m not sure. Perhaps the ideal would have been if she’d had suicide awareness before these events, perhaps her son’s involvement in the shooting could have been prevented.

✏️What is the end of life (the place where the writer has arrived, found closure, discovered rest)?

The end of this chapter of Sue Klebold’s life is that she now understands that it’s not her fault, and that, with the information she had, she shouldn’t blame herself for not seeing signs of depression in Dylan. But she wants other mothers to be aware of the signs of suicide.

✏️Is the author writing for herself or a group? What parts of the writer’s experience does she assume to be universal? Which does she view as unique to herself? Am I part of the group that would be expected to closely identify with the author’s story? Does it ring true for me? What parts of the story resonate and which do not?

I guess you could say Sue Klebold was representing herself only when she wrote, since the situation she was describing was pretty unique to only a very small number of people (thankfully). Though I think at some level she’s also writing as a mother to a mother. She assumes that her love of her son and the desire for him to be successful and happy is pretty universal. What she views as unique about her situation is rather obvious – not very many moms see their kids turn into murderers.

Yes, I am a mother, and the story of love and forgiveness she gives her son definitely resonates with me.

✏️What are the three moments or timeframes of the story? (When it happened, when it was written, when it was read.) What was the author’s reason for writing? Was the writer at a high or low point at the time of writing? How has the biography changed in the years since its publication?

The Columbine shooting was April 20, 1999, and her book was published 17 years later in 2016. I read it in 2023. I don’t believe there’s been much change between 2023 and 2016, but between 1999 and 2016, many school shootings have occurred. Americans have grown tired of the shootings and would like a fresh source of opinions on how to stop the alarming trend.

The author chose then to write the book because she had reached a step in her grieving process when she felt it would be helpful to reach out to other mothers and make sure they are aware of the risks of depression. I believe she was at a high point in her grief.

✏️Where does the author’s judgement lie? What, or whom, does the author judge? Is this criticism valid? Who do I deem responsible for successes and failures of the author?

I don’t recall the author judging anyone, even her son. Not even the people who judged her harshly.

✏️What have I brought away from this story? What did I hope to get?

I got exactly what I wanted out of this book. I learned a little of what it felt like to be judged by so many people for a tragedy that wasn’t her fault.