It is my New Year resolution to do more with the kids, including: Feed my Starving Children, plays, and cooking with D13; movies and cooking with M10; and parks, hikes, reading, and puzzles with IL4. I will also make an effort to read a physical book in front of IL4 (instead of just books on my phone) each day for 30 minutes to show him how awesome reading is. I also will swear less.
Saturday went well. I spent the day checking things off my to-do list, including reading in front of IL4. In the early evening, Aaron and I went to the Mall of America, where we met my friend Raj. It was complete with poorly-labeled security with rifles. At least, I hope they were security. We ate at the Cantina Laredo, threw axes at The Fair on Four, and attended a comedy show featuring Derek Gaines. Then my friend Liz, Aaron, IL4, and I stayed up till midnight to ring in the new year.
I read Hug a Bug, Llama Destroys the World, and Llama Unleashes the Alpacalypse to IL4.
Sunday was nice. We slept in till 10am (which was necessary because I was sleeping fitfully until about 5am). I spent the day doing things off my to-do list – a little of this and that. I decided that I would write recipe blog posts about the cooking I’ve been doing with the kids, so I wrote 3 of those. I now feel more organized and ready to tackle the world this week.
Aaron read Llama Destroys the World and Llama Unleashes the Alpacalypse to Il4. I read those books another 3 times, and then read Ganesha’s Sweet Tooth twice. M10 was reading the 8th Ga’Hoole book.
Monday was still a holiday, and I grew tired of having all three kids in the house. I spent the early half of the morning checking off things on my to-do list. I played a game of Uno with M10 in which I teamed up with IL4. (He didn’t really get the rules or perfect the hidden hand thing, but he was able to pick out colors and most numbers.) Later in the night, we played a family game of Uno, where IL4 also had trouble with taking turns, but he just needs to learn. It’s good for him. We also tried a couple rounds of Charades for Kids.
D13 baked a strawberry shortcake for her dad, and it was quite delicious. M10 read more of book 9 of Ga’Hoole. I mixed it up (sarcasm) and read Llama Destroys the World, Llama Unleashes the Alpacalypse, and Ganesha’s Sweet Tooth to IL4.
Tuesday was a little disappointing. Backstory – IL4 isn’t eating at daycare. Like, nothing. At. All. From 7:45am to 4:30pm. So they asked me to get a doctor to sign a form saying he could have his preferred foods (which apparently requires a lot of paperwork). I filled out all the paperwork, and met with the doctor. He said that if we give IL4 his preferred foods, it’ll entrench his pickiness – which is the classical way of thinking among feeding therapists, I know.
I told him the basic problem – that avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) runs in the family, and that I was worried that depriving him of his preferred foods would encourage a terrible relationship between IL4 and food, which is a huge problem with M10. I just don’t want to repeat our mistakes.
I explained that one of the diagnostic criteria of ARFID is that they don’t respond to classical feeding therapy, and it often makes them worse. He totally listened to what I said (so this gripe isn’t against the doctor), and he said he’d talk to the Children’s Hospital Feeding Clinic and get back to me. He said he’d like to put in a referral to them.
Now, I know that since not responding to classical feeding therapy is a diagnostic criteria of ARFID, can’t get that diagnosis and be treated accordingly without going through classical feeding therapy first. I am just afraid of it making the problem worse, as it did with M10. I had been hoping we could avoid the issue a little longer in IL4 without treatment since he can’t be treated at the eating disorder clinic until he’s 10.
So I’m stuck with a hard choice: do I start classical feeding therapy now (at risk of making the problem worse) with hopes that it might actually help? Or do I wait for treatment till he’s closer to 10 (at risk of making the problem worse) with hopes that ignoring the problem will make it go away. Maybe it’s just a phase and not ARFID?
So. I was in a bad mood after that. The snowstorm didn’t help, because it meant I couldn’t go to the movie with M10 for fear of getting stuck in the snow (as Aaron did trying to back the Highlander out of the driveway in the morning.)
I read Pooh, Very Best Friends to IL4.
Wednesday was a snow day. This was upsetting to me and my dad because we were looking forward to a productive and quiet day after a long, loud winter break. Plus I had a headache.
Unfortunately, this put dad in a rotten mood. IL4 wanted to make “soup” and kept going into the fridge for ingredients. Dad kept slamming the fridge door. Eventually, IL4 started screaming in frustration. Dad, acting like a 4 year old, imitated his scream. IL4 screamed louder. Dad screamed louder.
I went into the kitchen to tell them I had a headache. They didn’t hear me, so I got an inch from dad’s face and screamed “I have a headache!” IL4 and dad both stopped screaming and looked at me in bewilderment. Dad then screamed “Well so do I!” But his heart wasn’t in it because he knew I’d been complaining of a headache earlier. I calmly told him to go into his room and rest.
He came out much more composed, and asked if I needed him (since I wasn’t feeling well.) I told him to go ahead on a walk. Blessed silence.
IL4 still wanted to cook something. I couldn’t take my car out in the storm, so I thought about what I could cook with the available ingredients. I realized we could pull off a chocolate cake.
Soon, D13 came upstairs, saying she’d finished both the 9th Keepers of the Lost Cities and The Thing About Jellyfish. I asked if she wanted to help IL4 make the cake. She agreed, and they teamed up quite happily. M10 was busy reading the 10th Ga’Hoole book.
While the cake was in the oven and then cooling, we played Uno. M10 kindly let IL4 win – IL4 was thrilled and pretended he got a trophy. Then we watched the first Puss in Boots movie.
D13 and IL4 then made some frosting, and we told IL4 maybe when dad got home, he would put 4 candles on the cake (since IL4 only got 3 candles on his 4th birthday.) The cake was amazing.
At his feeding therapy meeting, M10 ate 3 bites of sauteed and fresh cabbage and of fresh kale. He didn’t throw up. So. Win!
Thursday kind of flew by, and I was tired at the end. I can’t put my finger on many specific things I did, but errands were part of the day. 🤷♀️ After that, we had a session zero for our family D&D campaign. I am a tortle wizard, M10 is a wood elf rouge, D13 is a tiefling cleric, Aaron is a halfling barbarian.
Friday was a tough day. I was tired because M10 had awakened us at 2am because he couldn’t sleep…then I couldn’t fall back asleep. So I was tired that morning. I had intended on spending the day cleaning, and was very disappointed to not meet my productivity goal for the week. 🤷♀️
I tried thinking of activities I could remove from my life to have more time to clean. I came up with 1) exercise, 2)blogging / LibraryThing, 3) cross-stitch and scrapbooking. I don’t actually EVER cross-stitch or scrapbook, I just tell myself I should do it…so that’s not helpful. And, obviously, not exercising is a bad idea. And cutting my virtual social life in half when I have minimal RL social life seems a bad idea. So I’m at square one.
D13 finished reading When You Trap a Tiger, and M10 was still on the 10th Ga’Hoole book.
- 1 letter Pennsylvania Department of Corrections
- 1 letter Maine Department of Corrections
- 1 letter Virginia Department of Corrections
- 1 letter Michigan Department of Corrections
- 1 letter New Mexico
Media Partaken In
- Lucifer, Season 1
- The Bad Seed, by Jory John and Pete Oswald
- Peppermint shortbread cookies
- I Don’t Want to Move, by Caroline Watkins & Emily Hercock
- The Gruffalo, by Julia Donaldson & Acel Scheffler
- Dad’s Macaroni and Cheese
- Your School is the Best, by Maggie Hutchins & Felitita Sala
- Will Do Magic for Small Change, by Andrea Hairston
- Corn Casserole
4 thoughts on “Update January 7, 2023”
Sounds like a busy and rough week! Your talk about the classical feeding theory made me think of something they mentioned in a movie I just saw that was the opposite of that. It said that making a child eat things they didn’t like often led to them never eating those foods as an adult. I wonder if that’s why I still eat such a childish diet, although I know part of my issues are textures of food as well as the tastes. I hope you are able to get things on a better plan. That’s got to be hard if they won’t eat all day at school! Hope this is a better week for you!
Hope you gad a great New Year! I love UNO.
A tortle wizard reminds me of Tombs of annihilation (where I learned about tortles). That was a fun campaigns.
Housework is always last on my list – I find the 10 minute chore approach helps me (you can google for tips) and you can involve the kids too.
Love your D&D character choices
Wishing you a great reading week
I think I can get behind your list of goals for the new year. I really want to try and do more fun stuff with my family this year. Get out more. I hope you are able to work out a plan that will work for your son and won’t set him back. My daughter has eating issues and I’m at the point where I think I need to reach out for help.
My husband has been chosen as the Dungeon Master for our first upcoming campaign with our friends. My daughter and two of her friends were interested in trying D&D and us parents thought it would be fun to make it a three family event. We’ll see how it goes.
Finding time for housework . . . If you figure it out, let me know. LOL
I hope you have a good week!